Learning how to get past life's challenges

Skyrocketing gas and food prices. Slumping housing values. Tanking stocks. A grim job market.

The economy's turbulence is jarring nearly everyone. For some, it has upended their lives.

We heard from roughly 75 people about problems difficult to overcome in this challenging economy. Most cited trouble with job hunts, living on less, planning for retirement and rebuilding after divorce.

In a series that begins today in our Life section, we profile four: a 25-year-old unable to break into her chosen field, a 32-year-old searching for a way to support herself and her daughter after a failed marriage, a family of nine coping with the layoff of the primary breadwinner and a 65-year-old who is short on savings but yearning to retire.

We asked what was keeping them stuck and then invited experts to give them advice on moving forward.

It's advice that is in high demand these days.

Barbara Robinette, a Vancouver licensed mental health counselor, said she is seeing more people in her office who are reeling from the economic downturn. Their primary reason for visiting her may be something else - marriage troubles, divorce, death of a loved one - but their problems are complicated by the fact that they're saddled with a home they can neither afford nor sell or they're working with a household budget that won't balance.

Regardless of the details, each has to figure out how to bring about desired change or cope with uninvited change.

Robinette encourages her clients to find hope in the fact that humans are a resilient species.

"We have evolved over millions of years to the place we are at right now because we are adaptable," she said.

Advice on getting your mental health back on track

Along with the other local experts who participated in this series, mental health counselor Barbara Robinette offers specific strategies for bouncing back after a setback.

She points out that the first step is having a clear vision of what you want. She suggests that anyone who is struggling with change do the following:

• Reboot.

"Rebooting yourself means you don't just plow through and ignore what's going on and take on the next thing. You take a deep breath and take time to do some self discovery and reflect on what you really want," Robinette said.

• Journal.

Write about what you're going through. "In journaling we find our voice and go into the unconscious to discover a part of ourselves," Robinette said.

• Talk.

Pick someone to talk to who won't give you advice, but will just let you talk things through. The person doesn't have to be a counselor. It could be "a friend who will let you vent," which is at the core of counseling, she said.

"I can't tell you how many times someone will say, ‘I haven't thought of that.' I say, ‘I haven't said anything. You just needed space to explore it.'"

• Seek solace in ritual.

This helps acknowledge the gravity of what's happening.

"We can make our own ritual, light our own candle, set up our own altar, or have a family meeting," she said.

• Maintain routine.

"Find something you can count on," Robinette said. "Create a new routine, but try to find what's still familiar. With children, keep the same bedtime routine, still eat dinner at the same time."

• Fake it 'till you make it.

"People who are not (resilient) tend to be full of blame," Robinette said. "Anger is understandable at the beginning, but you've got to let go of that, or you will never move on. ... Take on the characteristics of someone who is resilient. Behave as if you are, instead of behaving like a victim. When we behave like victims, we stay stuck."