‘Coach’ suggests exercises to help you flex your happiness muscle
Sunday, December 14 | 10:34 p.m.
BY DALIA COLON
ST. PETERSBURG TIMES
Christina Nelson believes happiness is a skill that can be taught, just like driving a car or swinging a tennis racket. And she wants to train you to be more content at work.
The motivational speaker and self-proclaimed “happiness coach” has started an organization to help ladies become more upbeat and, consequently, more successful in work and life. Women Inspiring Women kicked off in Tampa, Fla.
The first gathering drew eight women, from 20-something singles to grandmothers. Nelson, a giggly newlywed of 56, led the group in self-affirmation exercises and explained how the law of attraction has helped her land jobs, heal a chronic back problem and, four months ago, get married. Though she doesn’t have a degree in happiness (who does, really?), Nelson says her expertise comes from three decades as a dating coach, seminars, books and yes, watching Oprah. At the end of the 90-minute meeting, Nelson left the group with a homework assignment to say something positive before getting out of bed every day.
The always-cheerful Thonotosassa, Fla., resident is armed with endless supply of motivational one-liners: “Think about your thoughts.” “Create your day.” “Dream big.” “Do a checkup from the neck up.”
For future events, Nelson is open to exploring topics the group suggests. There is only one rule: Be positive. If someone makes a negative comment, they must put a dollar into a jar.
“If somebody stays negative in here, they’re not going to stay here long,” Nelson said.
“And they’re going to be broke!” quipped Hazelann Pace, of Lutz, Fla., who had to pony up after refusing to let me take a picture of the group because she wasn’t feeling photogenic. The money helps offset Nelson’s expenses.
The bottom line of this lovefest, Nelson says, is that happy people are more productive and successful. Now that’s something to smile about.
Here are Christina Nelson’s tips for relieving stress at work:
* Find the good in all people and situations. That cube mate who’s too loud on the phone? At least he makes awesome brownies for the company potluck.
* When your boss snaps at you, don’t take it personally. No one can emotionally hurt you unless you receive it, so brush your shoulders off and move on.
* Replace negative thoughts with positive ones. The more positive energy you put out, the more opportunities and productivity you’ll get.
* Say thank you often. It will keep you from getting upset.
* At least once a day, say out loud, “I am confident, knowledgeable and productive” or whatever else you need to hear. Soon you will be.
* Smile for no reason.
For many, a big barrier to happiness is stress.
When educating people about how best to deal with stress in the workplace, Kit Corey encourages them to first remember the definition of stress. Stress, she says, is “a non-specific physiological and psychological response to events or situations which we perceive and believe to be a threat to our own health and well being and thus handle ineffectively.”
By understanding what stress is, people may feel more in control, said Corey, a counselor with Solutions Employee Assistance in Vancouver. Corey has a master’s degree in counseling, and has worked in the mental health field since 1972. Once people understand what it is they’re feeling, they’re better able to cope with the ups and downs of office life. Here are Corey’s tips for reducing stress and feeling happier at work:
* Breathe. That gets oxygen to the brain, and allows you to consider what you want to do.
* Create balance in your life among work, family, self, community, physical, creative, spiritual and recreational pursuits.
* Develop healthy boundaries to reinforce the balance you create.
* If you have troubling thoughts or a long mental “to do” list, write it down. The act of writing down these thoughts helps get them out of your head and off your mind.
* Practice forgiveness, especially with yourself.
* Remember that all we have is today. Focus on what you can do right now.
* Organize your surroundings and get rid of clutter. It will make your day easier and more productive.
* Learn to say “no” and mean it. Never say “maybe” if you really mean “no.”
* Pause before you agree to anything to give yourself a chance to decide if you really can take it on.
* Avoid absolutes like “always” and “never” and abolish “should.”
* Take real vacations, even if they’re short.
* Do not underestimate the value of play and laughter.
* Unburden yourself with friends, family or professionals when the load feels overwhelming.
