Metro area has seen surge in sometimes deadly incidents
About 75 caregivers and survivors of domestic violence crowded into the YWCA Clark County meeting room in Vancouver on Thursday to hear police, mental health experts and others describe what has become a near-epidemic of domestic violence incidents in the Portland-Vancouver metro area in recent weeks.
A down economy and the holiday season, with its images of family harmony, make this a particularly stressful time for families, said Lisa Watson, director of Safe Washington, a network of family organizations that offers support to parents and caregivers raising children with emotional, behavioral, and mental health issues,
“A lot of women feel pressured to keep it together at this time,” Watson said.
Several high-profile murder-suicides involving domestic partners, including one in Vancouver recently, have drawn attention to the issue of domestic violence.
“We have had over 3,400 calls this year,” said Vancouver Police Sgt. Mike Davis, who works with the department’s domestic violence unit. “This will likely be our highest year ever. And those are just the situations that come to our attention. Domestic violence abusers are very dangerous now because they have adopted a terrorist mentality.”
His unit also has seen an increase in strangulations, Davis said. “We had 60-plus strangulations last year. We may have 70 to 80 this year.”
It’s essential that the community be alert to the signs that a conflict could be spinning out of control, Davis said.
“If you see a situation that is escalating,” and that situation involves verbal abuse, physical abuse, threats or access to weapons, “get your friend or co-worker some help so they can plan to leave,” he said. “Oftentimes, leaving is not an event, it’s a process. And maybe you’re not the best person to handle it. Get assistance from a trained professional.”
Erin Nolan, chief civil deputy in the Clark County Sheriff’s Office and a YWCA board member, said the violence of recent weeks reminds her of the 1990s, when she was a homicide detective.
“Those times seemed very violent and our crime rate was high,” she said. “The past month took me back to that time when we were seeing high numbers of murder-suicides. When the economy is bad, crime goes up. People are stressed. That stress reveals itself in many ways. … No amount of logic is going to make the situation change until the survivor decides she is strong enough to leave.”
Children are deeply affected by domestic violence in the home even if they don’t witness it directly, said Saron Nehf, a bilingual advocate for the YWCA’s SafeChoice program.
“My daughter was 3 when I decided to leave my abuser,” she said. “She’d never seen any of the physical abuse. When she was 5 she started talking about suicide. A therapist explained her fears and frustrations. Just because she didn’t feel the physical abuse didn’t mean she didn’t know what was going on.”
Vancouver Police Lt. George Delgado echoed that sentiment. “When we walk into the house of a domestic violence situation, it’s not unusual to find the children seemingly oblivious. They may be glued to the TV, but the tape is running. They know what’s going on.”
Songcha Bowman, a Beaverton, Ore., counselor who works with women in Asian immigrant communities, said the domestic violence in those communities is invisible to the outside world.
“There is a lot of criminal activity in immigrant societies,” she said. “The victims don’t have any power or emotional support. Their natural family is 1,000 miles away across the ocean.” Many are threatened with loss of their green cards if they report abuse.
Bowman praised YWCA SafeChoice, which operates a battered women’s shelter and a 24-hour hot line, and agencies in Clark County that work together to help victims of domestic violence and prosecute their abusers, for the help they have given her clients.
“Most survivors reach out for help,” said Debra Adams, who manages the YWCA shelter. She urged people to refer domestic violence victims to the shelter sooner rather than later.
“They can come to us and talk with no expectations,” she said. “We want to talk to someone before it rises to the level of a crime.”
Charles Malik of the Columbia Pastoral Center treats perpetrators of domestic violence.
“It’s not a couple problem. It’s an individual problem,” he said. “It doesn’t have to do with anger. The anger is an instrument. Anger is used as an attempt to control. That’s why if a couple gets ready to separate, it’s so dangerous.”
His goal in treatment is to get the abuser to stop controlling his partner and start controlling his own actions, Malik said. But dealing with domestic violence is not a job just for professionals, he added.
“The community has to be involved. You have to be your brother’s keeper.”
Kathie Durbin: 360-735-4523 or kathie.durbin@columbian.com.
