The Columbian | Serving Clark County, Washington

Not only are there too many cooks in the Columbia River Crossing kitchen, some of the least-trained hash slingers are breaking the cookware, contaminating ingredients and dismantling the pantry.

OK, we’re exaggerating, but sometimes the nonexperts who keep micromanaging this new-bridge project drive us to fits of metaphorical hyperbole.

The latest fire in the CRC kitchen ignited on Thursday when transportation officials and politicians met by conference call to discuss some of the most ridiculous suggestions in the too-long history of this project. They must’ve known the ideas were absurd because they tried to conduct the meeting behind closed doors. Fortunately, Clark County Commissioner Steve Stuart allowed Columbian reporter Erik Robinson to listen in on the discussion.

Portland Mayor Sam Adams was his usual meddling self, masquerading as a guardian of the public’s right to “analyze some scenarios, so we feel comfortable that we’ve exhausted all creative thought.” He’s half-right there; some politicians are driving planners and the public to the brink of exhaustion on this replacement bridge.

Two ideas that fell out of the politicians’ Downright Dopey File were eliminating interchanges in downtown Vancouver and on Hayden Island, ostensibly to save money and reduce the weaving of vehicles trying to get on and off the freeway. Alternatives for drivers would be accessing downtown Vancouver by taking the Mill Plain Boulevard exit, and accessing Hayden Island by exiting near the Expo Center and wandering strangely onto the island via a bridge that would include light rail.

In response, Vancouver Mayor Tim Leavitt correctly pointed out that truck traffic on Mill Plain already is projected to double in the next several years due to the Port of Vancouver’s industrial expansion plans. The new bridge is supposed to improve — not eliminate or complicate — access to downtown Vancouver and Hayden Island.

A third cockamamie idea was building a single span instead of a double-span bridge. “I’m assuming a key driver for cost is the fact that you have to build two decks,” Adams said. Gee, Sam, ya think? Paula Hammond and Matthew Garrett — transportation directors for Washington and Oregon, respectively — likely were wondering where Adams had been during the lengthy planning that produced the Locally Preferred Alternative: a bigger, safer bridge with improved interchanges, no bridge lifts, enhanced pedestrian lanes and extension of Portland’s light-rail line to Clark College.

In addition to exasperation, residents in both cities are justified in feeling frustrated over the recent increase in bridge-planning secrecy. In January, Adams, Leavitt, Stuart and Metro council President David Bragdon formed their own little Gang of Four, huddled clandestinely and fired off a foolish letter to the two governors, who summarily ignored the missive and told everyone to get back to work. Then on Thursday, more attempted secrecy with the conference call, apparently allowed by law but still in defiance of the public outreach that has been a hallmark of the CRC operation for several years.

After the meeting, Portland transportation director Catherine Ciarlo dispatched an e-mail: “The City of Portland is not proposing to remove any interchanges; nor are we saying that a new bridge must include a specific number of lanes. Mayor Adams simply wants to ensure that due diligence is done to make sure we get the maximum amount of benefit — for all bridge users — at the lowest possible cost.”

Due diligence? With the kitchen ablaze and starving diners pounding on the table with their silverware?

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