According to the Dec. 22 story in The Columbian, “State considers adding ADD, OCD to medical pot list,” the state of Washington is considering legalizing the use of marijuana for anyone who has a medical problem of any kind. For instance, Attention Deficit Disorder or Obsessive Compulsive Disorder would qualify. Other unrelated diseases, such as a “social disorder” and “intractable pain,” also would make the grade.
Now, my problem is that I have OCHD (Obsessive Compulsive Hunting Disorder). I love to hunt wild game animals. Someone recently diagnosed me as being an elkaholic, with no hope of recovery. Faced with this dire addiction, I wonder if I might qualify for medical marijuana. And since they are looking for scientific reasons for adopting its use, I will gladly submit to further study of my condition. Until then, I guess I’ll just have to go on feeding my compulsion by hunting big game. If, however, I am refused on the basis that OCHD doesn’t qualify me, perhaps I could add that I also have a hangnail. Anything to get access to this addictive gateway drug. Please, somebody help me.