We. Love. Lists.
It’s really just that simple. Next to Italian Beef Sandwiches (with a little hot giardiniera on top), there is nothing a human being prefers more.
You’ve seen most of them:
• Top 10 ways to woo a soul mate.
• The 12 best places to see a cloudy day.
• First 3 things that come to mind when thinking about newspaper editors. (I love being a straight man for my conservative blogging friends.)
This Sunday, you’ll see a bunch of lists from us reviewing what we believe were the top stories from 2011. As an added twist, we asked readers how they would rank the top stories from 2011, so you’ll be able to see how that compares with our rankings.
I was all ready to push out my own personal list of top stuff from 2011. But then I thought, hey, wait a second. Why not make some predictions for 2012?
Then, I’ll look back at those predictions and see how many I hit. Hey, you all could join the fun. Hop on our website and, in the comments area of this column, let us know what you feel will happen in 2012.
OK, I’m ready. Let’s have a bit of a dramatic pause (those are often required when one reads this column) … and let’s begin.
Top 7 things that will happen in 2012:
• The Columbia River Crossing is not a bridge to nowhere. It’s a bridge that doesn’t know where — or if — it’s going. I predict … you will get more of the same in 2012!
More important, I believe a private guy will hire an engineer, and that engineer will propose that by simply using three backhoes, we reroute the Columbia River north and make it Yacolt’s problem.
• I predict Vancouver Mayor Tim Leavitt will finally come clean about his double talk on bridge tolling. Everyone heard him say he was against tolling, which got him elected. Well, everyone heard him say it except him.
In 2012 Leavitt will say he goofed. What he meant to say was, he was against “tools.”
“You know, those people who lack the mental capacity to know they are being used.
“I mean, who would want to be a tool, right? Right?”
• I predict State Rep. Jim Moeller will finally stop pulling money out of taxpayers’ pockets.
Moeller will explain it this way:
“I reached in again one day and the dang pockets were empty! Hey, who knew there was an end to the money one could grab? Not sure how I’m going to explain this to all my governmental friends.”
• Stealth State Senator Don Benton — a man of few words — will finally speak. He will be asked what he hopes for in the new year. He will think about it for several minutes and then say …
• I predict County Commissioner Tom Mielke will finally reveal he is a member — in good standing — of Mensa.
“Some people think I can’t string two sentences together that make any sense. That’s a ruse. I like playing mind games with the obtuse among us.”
• I predict the long-awaited Vegas-style casino in Clark County … will wait longer.
More important, a private guy will hire an engineer who will propose now that the Columbia River has been moved north, there is prime real estate available for such a project.
• Finally, I predict The Columbian will do its best to keep you informed and entertained.
Happy New Year!
Lou Brancaccio is The Columbian’s editor. Reach him at 360-735-4505 or firstname.lastname@example.org.