Talking Points: Congrats on Baby Biffle

1

Congratulations to Southwest Washington’s own Greg Biffle. The NASCAR driver and his wife, Nicole, are proud parents to a baby girl.

The Associated Press reports that Emma Elizabeth Biffle was born Wednesday afternoon.

“We had a great crew today. We couldn’t have done it without the Valvoline Oil and the Goodyear Tires on the Ford ambulance. When Nicole’s vital signs were being checked, the doctor knew he had the correct measurements because he used a Littmann Stethoscope, made by 3M, of course. Everybody on the medical staff will get free Coca-Cola for a year,” a family spokesman may or may not have said.

2

Speaking of children, the University of Washington announced that Shawn Kemp Jr., has signed a scholarship to play basketball for the Huskies.

Paternity lawyers nationwide have asked the Huskies to be a little more specific.

3

Roy Williams, the wide receiver from the Dallas Cowboys, got his ring back. (Of course, he has played for the Lions and Cowboys his whole career, so we certainly are not talking about a Super Bowl ring.)

Nope, Williams whined publicly that the woman he wanted to marry would not return the $76,000 engagement ring he mailed her.

Yes. He mailed it to her.

Reportedly, he proposed on video.

In a shock of all shocks, she said no to the moron who put a $76,000 piece of jewelry and wedding proposal in the mail.

Anyway, the long national nightmare is over. Reports say the ring has been returned to Williams.

His dignity, however, is lost forever.

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