“Just when I thought I was out, they pull me back in.”
Last week I had declared my column a “Madore-free zone.”
That would be County Commissioner David Madore. He and his sidekick, Commissioner Tom Mielke, are slowly turning Clark County into a nightmarish Disneyland, with lots of freakish rides that all end badly.
People from other parts our state — Oregon as well — are snickering as they watch the various sideshow acts these guys are providing.
Going Madoreless was pleasant, and I had a second Madore-free column all set for today.
I had planned on writing about attorneys. A few years back I noted that attorneys were a lot like mosquitos: They’re annoying, and there are too many of them.
Alas (dramatic pause required here), duty called. Sorry, attorney friends, that column will have to wait just a bit. This latest Madore mulch has pulled me in again!
• • •
A few days ago County Commissioner Steve Stuart had a going-away party. He was fed up with the M&M boys’ shenanigans, so he opted not to run for re-election and resigned early to take a job in Ridgefield.
There had been considerable speculation about whether the M&M boys would show up for Stuart’s going-away party. When I was asked what I thought, I said if I were a betting man I’d bet they both would show. After all — despite their many differences — the polite and honorable thing to do would be to show up.
Luckily, I’m not a betting man. Neither bothered.
Sure, it’s unbecoming, but these two guys have long ago given up trying to pretend they care.
Well, the no-show probably wouldn’t have created too much of a stir considering the characters involved, but then Madore went and opened his pie hole.
It seemed Madore felt it was important to let his followers know why he didn’t attend.
And — wait for it, wait for it — it was somebody else’s fault for Madore being AWOL.
“For some unknown reason it was not added to my calendar,” he tells his Facebook followers.
He said he received a call from a Columbian reader who apparently wanted to give him a good scolding for his absence. No scolding was warranted Madore insisted. After all it was someone else’s fault.
Madore targeted those who are supposed to keep track of putting stuff on his calendar. And remember, in addition to having a county staff at his behest, he’s also hired — out of his own pocket — a personal assistant.
Apparently, Madore also wasn’t aware that a plaque was being given to Stuart.
“If I had known about the plaque in advance I would have enjoyed presenting it to him,” Madore said.
What the ... ?
Look, there are only three possible reasons for how things could go so poorly, and none of them have good outcomes:
• The county staff — at Madore’s request — went all Rose Mary Woods on us and, if asked, would assure us that because of unimaginable and unforeseen circumstances, an unfathomable gap appeared on Madore’s calendar. Rumor has it the missing parts of the Watergate tapes and the Madore calendar are now buried with Jimmy Hoffa.
• Since virtually every other human being who had any association with Stuart in the past knew when this event was happening, Madore is clueless.
• When the heat is on, Madore’s first instinct is to make excuses.
What in the heck is going on? Oh my!