Memories of Mom: A loving mother-in-law

Many people have love-hate relationships with their mother-in-laws. Mine was like a mother to me. Although she passed 10 years ago, I think of Tess often.

I wondered when we first met if it would be this way, though.

It happened when Tom, my boyfriend and the youngest of his siblings (all boys), went home for his spring break. We were both students at the University of Oregon. We had dated for three months, and he wanted to introduce me to his parents.

When we arrived, Tess greeted us. After catching up with Tom, she gave me a tour of the house. Then she showed me the room where I’d sleep during our visit. Suddenly during our conversation, she said, “Every time one of my boys brings home a girl, they get married.”

I smiled but didn’t know what to say. I wondered whether she was giving me advice or warning me. The other brothers, much older than Tom, all had stable marriages and one had two children. I filed her comment as a mental note.

She was right. Four years later, Tom and I married.

But from the time she made that comment, we seemed to have a bond, like a mother and daughter. It’s hard to explain. Maybe it’s because Tess never bore any daughters. I noticed that when her other daughters-in-law visited that she also welcomed and treated them as if they were her own. I’d never seen such a close relationship with any in-laws as Tess fostered with us. We truly felt as though we were full members of the Landes family.

Fortunately Tess passed before our 18-year marriage fell apart. That may seem like a harsh statement to write, but she would have been completely heartbroken if she were here at that time. I count my blessings to have had such a special person in my life.

Happy Mother’s Day, Tess.

Read more stories in the “Memories of Mom” series here.