<img height="1" width="1" style="display:none" src="https://www.facebook.com/tr?id=192888919167017&amp;ev=PageView&amp;noscript=1">
Thursday, March 28, 2024
March 28, 2024

Linkedin Pinterest

Nordic skiing questions answered

The Columbian
Published: November 27, 2014, 12:00am

Q. Is there apres-ski in the cross-country world?

A. The bota bag worked wonders for me, but today’s top nordies prefer to slurp a packet of GU in the intimate surroundings of their Subaru.

Q. Is it true that if you are not sweating like a draft horse you aren’t doing it right?

A. No one will notice either way.

Q. Do you have to buy special togs?

A. Got to love a sport that has equal affection for people wearing Lycra or wool.

Q. Is cross-country skiing an activity that relentlessly mocks those who are not whippet thin?

A. Shape is not a factor for social acceptance in nordic skiing, as long as you don’t trash the groomed tracks.

Q. What is the most common injury?

A. Nordic nipple.

Q. Do cross-country skiers take “natural breaks” like bike racers?

A. Nordic skiers are among the original “do it in the woodsers.”

Q. How long does it typically take to go from total novice to not embarrassingly bad?

A. If you can walk, you can cross-country ski. Beyond that, who cares?

Q. What does wildlife think of cross-country skiers?

A. The more prey, the better. Even moose enjoy the role of predators during cross-country ski season.

Q. Are you required to carry a rifle?

A. No, but it helps to get your fair share from the bota bag.

Q. What’s the easiest way to spot an X-country snob?

A. Wear snowshoes.

Q. Do skiers experience postsession euphoria?

A. Yes, especially if they outskied a moose.

Q. Can a beginner reach a point fairly soon where he or she reaps workout benefits or does that require technical proficiency?

A. The benefits of cross-country skiing begin as soon as you step into the bindings. Despite centuries of trying to improve upon it, a more thorough and entertaining workout has yet to be invented.

Loading...