Rampell: Step up to ask; your karma will be that asking is easier

Three basic takeaways about Nadella’s comments, which he has since retracted, including in a company-wide email encouraging employees who think they deserve raises to speak up: (1) This is terrible advice for employees who want more money, if understandable when coming from a boss. (2) It’s also what many women already do, which is (3) part of the reason why the gender pay gap persists. This should go without saying, but bosses are not in the business of paying anything more than they need to for talent. Payroll is not a charitable activity.

Employers may elect to pay good salaries for higher-quality workers, or to improve productivity by making workers believe they’re being paid fairly or even generously. But generally speaking, employers’ interests and employees’ interests are not aligned when it comes to setting compensation, just as the buyers and sellers of any product (labor included) have opposite incentives when it comes to setting prices. Which is why workers need to negotiate actively for higher pay rather than wait for it to be benevolently bestowed upon them. (It’s also why I don’t think it’s particularly crazy for a chief executive to respond the way Nadella did, despite the outrage his remarks inspired.)

Many people have trouble mustering courage to negotiate with bosses or adversaries. But women seem especially averse to haggling. Research by Carnegie Mellon’s Linda Babcock and others has found that men initiate negotiations about four times as often as women, and they report less apprehension when doing so. Even outside of work, women are loath to negotiate, preferring to pay as much as $1,353 to avoid haggling over the price of a car.

Among my own group of (ambitious, talented) girlfriends, I often hear a reluctance to negotiate for better terms of employment. Hard work will be rewarded, we all believe, and if we merely keep our heads down and achieve, employers will reward us unprompted. Even Maria Klawe — the president of Harvey Mudd College and the person who elicited Nadella’s controversial comments — said she regretted that she didn’t negotiate her compensation in either her current job or her previous one and advised others not to follow her example.

Wanting to be liked

Why are women reluctant to negotiate? One theory is that we fear being seen as selfish or, worse, unlikable. This may not be as shortsighted as it sounds. Babcock’s research has found that women who ask for raises do get more money but are perceived as less likable than men who do the same thing — and women may fear that being disliked will hold back their careers. This seems to be the “karma” Nadella referred to: Your boss will like you more if you don’t demand more money. Especially if you’re female.

Which is why closing the gender pay gap requires not only encouraging more women to step up and ask for more — but also, among other things, training bosses to not hold it against women for asking.