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Tuesday, March 19, 2024
March 19, 2024

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Jayne: Too many women missing moral of Rice controversy

By , Columbian Opinion Page Editor
Published:

I come today not to speak about Ray Rice. Many words have been expended by minds much brighter than mine on Rice and domestic violence and the indefensible inaction of the National Football League.

So, you don’t need me to weigh in on the former Baltimore Ravens running back or the videotape of the punch he delivered to his then-fiancée and now-wife. You don’t need me to point out that the NFL’s response has been a dumpster fire from the start. You don’t need me to mention that league Commissioner Roger Goodell deserves to lose his job over his mishandling of this mess.

But as the story has mowed its way though the modern news cycle — action, reaction, then reaction to the reaction — I think the thing that bothered me most was on display Thursday night. Sure, the video released earlier in the week was horrific; you had indisputable evidence that a professional football player punched a woman he allegedly loves with a closed fist and knocked her out. And yes, the look-the-other-way response from the NFL was inexcusable; you had a $9 billion-a-year industry treating assault much more leniently than marijuana use.

But on Thursday, you see, Rice’s former team played a game against the Pittsburgh Steelers, and you had dozens or hundreds or thousands of fans wearing Ray Rice jerseys in support of some misguided principle.

Now, when it comes to their favorite teams, NFL fans are well-known for ranking somewhere between rabid dogs and Tasmanian Devils in their ferocity and critical-thinking skills. That is nothing new. To sit in the stadium during an NFL game is to become part of the gladiatorial arena, where common decency gives way to blood lust. And, let’s face it, that’s why it is, by far, America’s favorite sport.

But, while support for Rice was to be expected, I could not help but be appalled by the demographics of those supporters. You see, more than a few of those wearing Ray Rice jerseys were women. More than a few were teenage girls, to judge by the photos and the media reports. And with that reality staring me in the face, I couldn’t help but think about my wife and my daughter.

So let’s talk about that, instead of Ray Rice. Let’s talk about us. Let’s talk about the women in our lives and the wishes and hopes and dreams we have for them. Isn’t that the real issue? Isn’t that why this story has become one of those that spills beyond the boundaries of sports and becomes a national talking point?

Wrong kind of message

Because of that, the thought that any 16-year-old girl would show up to a Baltimore Ravens game wearing a Ray Rice jersey is simply abhorrent. Would you encourage your daughter to do that? Would you tell her, “Sure, Rice spit on a woman he loved and punched her and knocked her out and dragged her limp body out of an elevator. I hope when your boyfriend does that to you that you can forgive him and marry him”?

Of course you wouldn’t. At least I hope you wouldn’t. And if you would, you are a troglodyte.

No, I’m not saying that men can or should dictate what women wear. I’m not saying that a husband or father or boyfriend can command wardrobe decisions — although in one of those cases, some input is required; it’s called parenting.

But I am questioning what kind of messages these women have been receiving all their lives that lead them to shrug off an elevator assault. Is it because they don’t know Ray Rice or Janay Palmer Rice? Is it because it was a personal matter between the couple? If that’s the case, perhaps these supporters should consider how they would feel if it happened to their mother or their daughter or their sister. If that’s the case, perhaps they should read through the #WhyIStayed and #WhyILeft hashtags on Twitter.

Not that this discussion is limited to the well-paid and the well-known. We must demand better from all members of society. More important, we must teach our daughters to demand it, as well.

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