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Camden: Predicting the predictable: Legislators won’t heed Inslee

By Jim Camden
Published: January 6, 2015, 4:00pm

As it does most years, Spin Control looks into the crystal ball to predict the year ahead.

Regular readers might have the feeling they’ve read some of these predictions before. They probably have, but it doesn’t mean we plagiarized ourselves; we just predict the predictable … and what’s safer than that?

So, as Bullwinkle used to say: “Eenie, meanie, chili beanie .”

Prediction 1: One part of the country will experience a particularly devastating winter storm in January or February, causing conservative national commentators to ignore the difference between “weather” and “climate” and proclaim global warming a hoax.

Prediction 2: Gov. Jay Inslee will call for legislators to apply “Washington’s secret sauce” to improve public education. The Legislature will suggest adding a little mustard to the ketchup and call it good.

Prediction 3: As the Spokane municipal elections draw near, voters constantly will be reminded the city has not re-elected a mayor since 1973. Very few people who mention this will add that string isn’t caused by a single factor, but a wide range of economic, political and medical situations that may have no bearing on 2015.

Prediction 4: Inslee will call for legislators to apply “Washington’s secret sauce” to solve its transportation problems. The Legislature will order its transportation burger plain.

Prediction 5: Some legislators will fight changes to the voter-approved gun background check initiative as thwarting the will of the people but will mention no such reservations when they vote to delay requirements for smaller class sizes, also approved by voters. Others who previously have denounced tax increases without supermajorities because that’s what voters approved will express no such reluctance at amending the gun initiative.

Prediction 6: Inslee will call for legislators to apply “Washington’s secret sauce” to problems on energy and the environment. The Legislature will deadlock on whether to order Mexican or Chinese takeout.

Prediction 7: A section of the country will set records for high temperatures in July or August, causing some national liberal commentators to completely ignore the difference between “weather” and “climate” and cite the records as proof that global warming is real.

Prediction 8: Some political commentators will attribute Spokane’s string of one-term mayors to the city’s Gypsy curse, ignoring the fact that the string predates the curse, which wasn’t cast until 1986.

Prediction 9: To the cheers of business groups around the state, a conservative Republican will propose a major overhaul to the state’s Labor and Industries system. It won’t pass, but Democrats will say it is proof Republicans hate working people.

Prediction 10: To the cheers of progressive groups around the state, a liberal Democrat in the Legislature will propose a state income tax as a fairer, less regressive tax. It won’t pass, but Republicans will say it is proof Democrats are tax-crazy.

Prediction 11: Washington’s recreational marijuana law will continue to give reporters and headline writers opportunities to make pot jokes, even though readers and viewers stopped thinking they were funny in 2014.

Prediction 12: Washington’s congressional delegation will labor to make permanent the federal income tax deduction for sales tax in states without an income tax. The delegation will argue it’s only fair to make that deduction permanent, just like state income tax is. Congress will dither on tax reform for most of 2015, and sometime late in the year the Washington delegation will announce a deal — to extend the state sales tax deduction for another year or two. Just like in 2014.

Prediction 13: Inslee will call for the Legislature to use “Washington’s secret sauce” to improve the state’s job outlook. The Legislature will prepare a platter with hollandaise, béarnaise, salsa verde, rouille, hoisin and golden plum sauces to improve conditions for one group of workers. Themselves.

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