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Tuesday, March 19, 2024
March 19, 2024

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A transformative time

Clark County transgender men share their experiences as issue gains more attention nationally

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Brayen Biddle, a Vancouver transgender man, saved $8,000 to pay for the surgery to remove his breasts. &quot;I like what the world sees now,&quot; Biddle said. &quot;I like what I see in the mirror.
Brayen Biddle, a Vancouver transgender man, saved $8,000 to pay for the surgery to remove his breasts. "I like what the world sees now," Biddle said. "I like what I see in the mirror. It looks natural to me now." Photo Gallery

Local Support

Summer Brown’s Gender Spectrum Adult support group: The group is open to adults age 18 and older and is donation-based. Suggested donation is $5 or $10. Meets from 10 to 11:30 a.m. Saturdays at Evergreen Behavioral Health, 2621 NE 134th St., Suite 340, Vancouver. Visit summerbrownlmft.com/, call 360-602-1477 or email summer@SummerBrownLMFT.com for information.

Triple Point Queer and Trans Groups: Six support groups in Clark County for youth ages 11 to 17 and 18-year-olds who are in high school or a GED program. Friend page for youth ages 11 to 17 at www.facebook.com/VancouverTriplePoint. Fan page for the general community at www.facebook.com/VancouverWATriplePoint. Call Spring at 360-695-1325, ext. 4217; or Stephen at ext. 4215 or email triplepoint@chs-wa.org for information on groups, times and how to join.

Online Resources

Gender Wiki: gender.wikia.com/wiki/Gender_Wiki

Campus Pride: www.campuspride.org

GLAAD: www.glaad.org

Human Rights Campaign: www.hrc.org/resources/category/transgender

PFLAG: community.pflag.org/transgender

Portland State University: www.pdx.edu/queer/transgender-resources

Terminology

Sex: External anatomy determined at birth by chromosomes, hormones, reproductive organs and secondary characteristics.

Gender identity: A person’s internal sense of gender, whether it be male, female or something on a sliding scale between the two.

Transgender: A person whose gender identity doesn’t match the sex they were assigned at birth. “Assigned” refers to external anatomy at birth.

Gender expression: A person’s external presentation of gender, through name, pronouns, clothing, haircut, behavior, voice or body characteristics. Most transgender individuals define themselves by gender expression rather than the sex they were assigned at birth.

Sexual orientation: A person’s physical, romantic and/or emotional attraction to another person. Transgender people may be straight, lesbian, gay, asexual or bisexual.

Transgender man: A person assigned female anatomy at birth but who’s gender identity is male. Sometimes also defined as female-to-male or FTM. Many prefer to use male pronouns such as he or him.

Transgender woman: A person assigned male anatomy at birth but who’s gender identity is female. Sometimes also defined as male-to-female or MTF. Many prefer to use female pronouns such as she or her.

Cisgender: A non-transgender person whose sex matches their gender identity. Conventional male or female.

Gender Non-Conforming (also Non-Binary, GenderQueer, Bi-Gender, Two-Spirit, Androgyne): Used to describe people whose gender expression (not sexual preference) is different from conventional male or female. The person’s gender may be a mix of male and female or no gender at all.

Cross-dresser: A term typically used to refer to heterosexual men who occasionally wear clothes, makeup and accessories culturally associated with women. Cross-dressers do not wish to permanently change their sex or live full-time as women.

Brayen Biddle talks about his experience growing up transgender

Transition: The process of changing one’s name, dress or body to reflect one’s gender identity. Individuals may or may not chose to have surgery, take hormones or make other changes as part of their transition.

Source: GLAAD, www.glaad.org

Growing up, Braxton Thomsen was a pretty normal boy.

He liked to climb trees and play with trucks. He dreamed of being a baseball star.

And despite being born deaf, there really wasn’t anything stopping him from becoming the person he wanted to be.

But then his breasts started to grow, driving home the awkward reality that he was in the wrong body.

His mind, his spirit, the fabric of his being told him he was a boy — but when he looked in the mirror, a girl looked back at him.

“I was probably in fourth grade when I first started to realize the disconnect,” Thomsen, 48, said through an ASL translator. ” ‘Girls aren’t supposed to climb trees,’ the other kids would say. But that didn’t make sense to me. I wanted to play with the boys.”

That feeling got stronger as he grew older. He knew he wasn’t simply a tomboy. And when his breasts came in, all his clothing started to look wrong, he said.

“I always thought, ‘Oh, that’s a cool-looking shirt. I want that,’ ” Thomsen said. “But then it would hit me: ‘Oh wait, I can’t wear that shirt. I have breasts.’ “

Local Support

&#8226; Summer Brown's Gender Spectrum Adult support group: The group is open to adults age 18 and older and is donation-based. Suggested donation is $5 or $10. Meets from 10 to 11:30 a.m. Saturdays at Evergreen Behavioral Health, 2621 NE 134th St., Suite 340, Vancouver. Visit <a href="http://summerbrownlmft.com/">summerbrownlmft.com/</a>, call 360-602-1477 or email <a href="mailto:summer@SummerBrownLMFT.com">summer@SummerBrownLMFT.com</a> for information.

&#8226; Triple Point Queer and Trans Groups: Six support groups in Clark County for youth ages 11 to 17 and 18-year-olds who are in high school or a GED program. Friend page for youth ages 11 to 17 at <a href="http://www.facebook.com/VancouverTriplePoint.">www.facebook.com/VancouverTriplePoint.</a> Fan page for the general community at <a href="http://www.facebook.com/VancouverWATriplePoint.">www.facebook.com/VancouverWATriplePoint.</a> Call Spring at 360-695-1325, ext. 4217; or Stephen at ext. 4215 or email <a href="mailto:triplepoint@chs-wa.org">triplepoint@chs-wa.org</a> for information on groups, times and how to join.

The transgender experience

The feeling that one’s physical sex does not match one’s internal sense of gender is as old as humanity.

Many ancient cultures in the Middle East, Africa, Asia, Europe and the Americas included intersex deities with both male and female characteristics. And through time, transgender individuals often performed the role of priests or shamans, according to a variety of historians (for several stories on that topic, check out the LGBTQ group blog www.bilerico.com).

Some modern societies also have specific roles and names for transgender individuals, such as Thailand’s ladyboys and the tomboys, India’s Hijra and Polynesia’s Fa’afafine.

In Native American cultures, the name Two Spirit is sometimes used, because transgender individuals are seen as including the spirits of both male and female in one body. Through history, they were treated with reverence and thought to have great spiritual power.

In reality, gender could be considered a sliding scale, with a wide variety of options that span far beyond just male and female. Some transgender individuals like the word nonbinary, because it represents all levels of this scale. Other terms like genderqueer or gender nonconforming also represent a mix of male and female, or the sense of having no gender at all.

It’s also important to note that gender is not the same as sexual preference. Transgender people can be gay, straight or bisexual, just like the rest of the population.

It’s really more of a modern societal convention that has split sex and gender into rigid groups, said Summer Brown, a counselor in Vancouver who works with transgender individuals.

“Something about our society, anything that dabbles in the idea of sex is taboo, so any idea that things are different than those two rigid roles is considered bad,” Brown said. “We often don’t realize how young people are prescribed a gender in their role in the world. You walk into a Target, look at the toys: they’re separate, all pink or blue.”

The sense of disconnect can be especially hard on young people. The late December suicide of Leelah Alcorn, a transgender Ohio 17-year-old, brought more attention nationally to the issues that those in the community face.

“The only way I will rest in peace is if one day transgender people aren’t treated the way I was, they’re treated like humans, with valid feelings and human rights,” Alcorn wrote in a Tumblr post prior to her suicide.

The sense that one’s gender doesn’t fit into societal norms — and the bullying and taunting that transgender individuals often face — can make life extremely isolating for people like Alcorn and Thomsen. But it doesn’t have to be that way, Brown said.

“A lot of my clients in my private practice are fairly isolated,” she said. “They feel they’re alone in this process. But they’re not.”

Transgender issues are getting more attention nationally, including a mention in President Barack Obama’s State of the Union address on Tuesday, which was the first time the word “transgender” was mentioned in any State of the Union speech.

“As Americans, we respect human dignity, even when we’re threatened,” Obama said, then continued:”That’s why we defend free speech … and condemn the persecution of women, or religious minorities, or people who are lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgender.”

Transgender celebrities, including Laverne Cox, Chaz Bono, Jenna Talackova and Alexis Arquette, also have brought more attention to the challenges facing transgender individuals. And the number of resources for the community are growing — including an array of new support groups in Portland and Vancouver.

Thomsen said the evolution of the Internet and social media has also been a big help in moving the community forward in recent years.

“If I came out several years ago, it would have been much harder,” said Thomsen, who came out in January 2014. “Now with Facebook, video and phone chats, it makes it much easier to find people going through the same thing. And I think overall society is becoming more tolerant.”

Discrimination

That said, discrimination against transgender individuals is still common, and many see transgender rights as the next frontier in the battle for gay marriage and gay and lesbian rights.

“Probably one of the biggest issues I hear about from everybody is over access to health care,” Brown said. “If, for instance, you’re a female transitioning to male, and you’ve changed your name but haven’t had lower surgery, you still need to get a pap smear. Some doctors don’t know how to handle that.”

Housing can also be an issue, with landlords preferring to rent to individuals that are not transgender. And unaccepting families may also force transgender teens to leave and live on the street.

The American Psychiatric Association classifies the feelings that transgender individuals have as a condition called “gender dysphoria,” although, much like the rest of the gay and lesbian community, many transgender people don’t consider their gender identity as a mental health disorder.

Still, if they want to move forward with transitioning — the process of making one’s body match one’s interior sense of gender — they must go through what is often years of counseling.

“Right now, the law and regulations state that in order to get hormones, you have to see a therapist regularly to make that transition,” Brown said. “So you have to have a letter to navigate that system, and you need an accepting doctor. And in the end, a lot of transgender people just give up and don’t get medical care at all.”

Beyond that, decisions to get surgery or take hormones can be extremely complex. People often decide on a mix, depending on what they feel comfortable with. Some decide not to change their physical appearance at all; others want as much of a transformation as possible.

Online Resources

&#8226; Gender Wiki: <a href="http://gender.wikia.com/wiki/Gender_Wiki">gender.wikia.com/wiki/Gender_Wiki</a>

&#8226; Campus Pride: <a href="http://www.campuspride.org">www.campuspride.org</a>

&#8226; GLAAD: <a href="http://www.glaad.org">www.glaad.org</a>

&#8226; Human Rights Campaign: <a href="http://www.hrc.org/resources/category/transgender">www.hrc.org/resources/category/transgender</a>

&#8226; PFLAG: <a href="http://community.pflag.org/transgender">community.pflag.org/transgender</a>

&#8226; Portland State University: <a href="http://www.pdx.edu/queer/transgender-resources">www.pdx.edu/queer/transgender-resources</a>

“There’s kind of this hope that you’ll pass (as your preferred gender),” Brown said. “There are levels of transition. Do I take hormones but not get surgery? Do I get surgery but not do something else? It’s all about getting the inside and outside to match.”

Brayen Biddle, a transgender Vancouver man who recently had top surgery to remove his breasts, said he may never get lower surgery. The process is prohibitively costly and the person often loses at least some sensitivity in the area, he said.

“The hard part for me was saving $8,000 to pay out of pocket for top surgery because it wasn’t covered by insurance,” Biddle said. “The actual removal of the balls of fat on my chest was a piece of cake. But bottom surgery, it doesn’t work well, and that’s $80,000 out of pocket. It’s not really worth it — I’ll wait until we can grow (male genitalia) on my arm and then transplant it.”

Coming out

Telling one’s family, coworkers and friends about transitioning can be awkward, at best. Some people are surprisingly supportive, but others — including close family — may not be.

Terminology

&#8226; Sex: External anatomy determined at birth by chromosomes, hormones, reproductive organs and secondary characteristics.

&#8226; Gender identity: A person's internal sense of gender, whether it be male, female or something on a sliding scale between the two.

&#8226; Transgender: A person whose gender identity doesn't match the sex they were assigned at birth. "Assigned" refers to external anatomy at birth.

&#8226; Gender expression: A person's external presentation of gender, through name, pronouns, clothing, haircut, behavior, voice or body characteristics. Most transgender individuals define themselves by gender expression rather than the sex they were assigned at birth.

&#8226; Sexual orientation: A person's physical, romantic and/or emotional attraction to another person. Transgender people may be straight, lesbian, gay, asexual or bisexual.

&#8226; Transgender man: A person assigned female anatomy at birth but who's gender identity is male. Sometimes also defined as female-to-male or FTM. Many prefer to use male pronouns such as he or him.

&#8226; Transgender woman: A person assigned male anatomy at birth but who's gender identity is female. Sometimes also defined as male-to-female or MTF. Many prefer to use female pronouns such as she or her.

&#8226; Cisgender: A non-transgender person whose sex matches their gender identity. Conventional male or female.

&#8226; Gender Non-Conforming (also Non-Binary, GenderQueer, Bi-Gender, Two-Spirit, Androgyne): Used to describe people whose gender expression (not sexual preference) is different from conventional male or female. The person's gender may be a mix of male and female or no gender at all.

&#8226; Cross-dresser: A term typically used to refer to heterosexual men who occasionally wear clothes, makeup and accessories culturally associated with women. Cross-dressers do not wish to permanently change their sex or live full-time as women.

&#8226; Transition: The process of changing one's name, dress or body to reflect one's gender identity. Individuals may or may not chose to have surgery, take hormones or make other changes as part of their transition.

Source: GLAAD, <a href="http://www.glaad.org">www.glaad.org</a>

“The people that are most important to me, they know,” Biddle said. “I came out at work, and it took me about two months to work up the nerve, but they’ve been very supportive.”

His family, though, has had a mixed reaction, he said.

“My sister has been great, but my parents, not really,” Biddle said. “My mother refuses to accommodate my preferred name and gender. She says ‘I support you,’ but refusing to do that, it’s not support.”

He also realizes it’s a process for his friends, and he said he’s willing to be patient.

“I don’t mind that they’re struggling with it,” Biddle said. “That’s fair. I’ve been struggling with it for years.”

Thomsen said his friends and family have been very supportive, at least for the most part. And he fully understands the awkwardness that comes with the change.

“When I went to my cousin’s wedding back in the fall, I was excited, because it was my first time seeing the family as Braxton,” he said. “I had my suit and my tie on, everyone was hugging each other. Then when we were sitting at the table, I heard them trying to talk about me. They were saying, ‘Him, I mean her, I mean him.’ It was kind of funny. I still love them no matter what, but I know it was awkward for them.”

It’s not rude to ask a transgender individual what pronouns they prefer, whether that be he or him, she or her or the more neutral ze or zir — along with a host of other selections. It is generally considered rude, however, to ask about body parts, surgery and other things unless you are a close friend, much as it would be for non-transgender individuals.

Despite the drawbacks and issues they face, though, both Biddle and Thomsen said they’re much happier coming out and transitioning.

“I’m proud of it,” Thomsen said. “I’m proud to be a man. I think it’s important to remember that we are people. We are human. It’s the feeling I have inside. Don’t focus on the body, focus on who I am inside.”

Biddle agrees.

“I like what the world sees now,” Biddle said. “I like what I see in the mirror. It looks natural to me now. I like the way my clothes fit. I always hated when I’d put things on and it would be like, ‘Oh, boobs are in the way.'”

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