Reach out, the email urges. Which makes me recoil. I don’t live in a cage; no need to poke a paw between the bars.
I do, however, work from a bunker, one fortified against office lingo. I get seasick so readily, I try to avoid all that going forward and circling back and closing the loop. It sounds exhausting: drilling down, dialing back, touching base. I’d rather not stick a pin in anything.
I don’t know how to work a rubric, inventory a wheelhouse or shove a paradigm. At the end of the day, I’ve had enough of the end of the day.
In my bunker, I stick to my own clichés. For instance: asparagus tart. The roll-out is simple. The bright green optics delight. And the special sauce? Oil and vinegar. In spring, it’s what I bring to the table.
Asparagus Tart
Prep: 1 hour. Bake: 20 minutes. Makes: 1 tart, serves 2-4.
1 tablespoon red onion, finely chopped
1/4 teaspoon kosher salt
2 teaspoons vinegar (sherry, red wine or cider)
Olive oil
2 thin slices Serrano ham, thinly sliced crosswise
1 clove garlic, slivered
1 pound asparagus
Parmesan cheese
1/2 pound all-butter puff pastry (such as Dufour), defrosted
Soften: Settle onion in a small bowl. Sprinkle with the salt and vinegar. Set aside.
Crisp: In a small skillet heat 2 tablespoons olive oil over medium. Cook ham and garlic, tossing until crisp, about 2 minutes. Set aside.
Blanch: Snap woody bottom stems off asparagus. Use a vegetable peeler to strip skin from the lower half of each spear. Settle asparagus in a large skillet. Fill with water just to cover. Bring to a boil; simmer until vivid green and tender, about 4 minutes for midsize spears. Drain; cool under running water. Line up asparagus on a clean kitchen towel; roll up to dry.
Grill: Rub asparagus with a little oil. Light a medium-hot fire. Spread out asparagus and grill, turning regularly, until nicely tattooed, about 4 minutes. (Alternatively, use a griddle set over medium-high heat.)
Bake: Roll out (or simply unfold) pastry and slice into a rectangle about 12 by 8 inches; set it on a baking sheet. Prick all over with a fork. Slide into a 400-degree oven and bake until brown (even the center bottom) and puffed, 20-22 minutes.
Top: Toss asparagus with reserved oil/ham/garlic and with reserved onion/vinegar. Use the vegetable peeler to carve on a few curls of Parmesan. Line up dressed asparagus on the puff pastry. Slice crosswise to spears and serve hot.
