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Off Beat: Director stalls because venue isn’t flush with facilities

By Tom Vogt, Columbian Science, Military & History Reporter
Published: May 10, 2015, 5:00pm

A local theater group with a couple of different problems just might find relief (and we’re thinking about two different applications of that word) at Fort Vancouver National Historic Site.

A 110-year-old former U.S. Army infantry barracks will be making a transition to civilian life over the next few years, and National Park Service officials invited prospective tenants to give the place a look.

As we reported Friday, Elizabeth Mock was checking out the building on behalf of the Magenta Theater Company. Its current performance venue in downtown Vancouver has an audience capacity of 111, the Magenta board member told The Columbian, and it could use a bigger theater space.

What we didn’t report in Friday’s story is that the Magenta actors are having problems with some of their lines: not lines in the script, but lines to the restrooms.

There is one women’s restroom and one men’s restroom (two stalls apiece) for everybody. There are no separate facilities reserved for the performers.

At intermission, cast members “have to run to the bathroom,” Mock said.

It’s usually the director’s job to step onto the stage at intermission and keep the audience members in their seats while the actors beat the restroom rush. A recent example was “Calendar Girls,” based on the true story of British housewives who create a nude calendar to raise money for leukemia research.

The director told jokes, talked about upcoming productions and also put in a plug for the group’s own fund-raiser — “Ladies of Magenta” — a mostly nude calender featuring women of the theater company.

“She talked about anything she could think of until I turned the lights on,” which was her signal that the bathrooms were available, Mock said.

Costuming can be an issue as well in planning bathroom breaks.

“Our lead in ‘Calendar Girls’ had a very complex costume,” Mock said, “and was very cautious about liquid intake before the show.”

Off Beat lets members of The Columbian news team step back from our newspaper beats to write the story behind the story, fill in the story or just tell a story.

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Columbian Science, Military & History Reporter