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Tuesday, March 19, 2024
March 19, 2024

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Singletary: Tweet dreams for Black Friday

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You are going to do it.

Well, many of you, anyway.

Some of you will do it because you believe it will help the economy (or maybe it’s just economists who do it for that reason).

Others will do it because it’s a tradition. And even more will do it because they think that if they don’t, they’ll lose out on good deals.

Rest assured, millions of people will gather their wallets and purses to do some serious shopping starting Thanksgiving Day and on through the weekend until Cyber Monday.

To be specific, an estimated 135.8 million consumers say they will or may shop during this traditional kickoff to the holiday shopping season, according to a survey by the National Retail Federation. Of those who plan to shop online or in a store, most will go looking for deals on Black Friday.

American Express hopes many will shop on Small Business Saturday, which this year is Nov. 28. The shop-small campaign was started to encourage folks to patronize small and local businesses.

“The importance of Thanksgiving weekend to both retailers and consumers will never change,” said NRF President and CEO Matthew Shay.

I don’t doubt that statement at all.

But my family and I won’t be going anywhere near a retail store — whether brick and mortar or online. We’re planning to enjoy the holiday weekend playing games and eating lots of leftovers.

Still, since I can’t talk you out of spending money many of you should probably be saving or using to pay off debt, I thought you might like to see some clever tweets about Black Friday that are responses to a trending hashtag: #BlackFridayIn3Words.

First, here is what I came up with:

• “Jingle Bell Broke.”

• “More Pie Please!” Cuz I ain’t participating in that craziness.

• “Losing your mind.” I included a picture of two women fighting over a big-screen TV.

• “Crazy consumer consumption.”

I loved the offering from @Khanoisseur, who before Thanksgiving simply wrote, “In four days,” and posted a clip from the movie “World War Z.” In the video, a horde of zombies rushes through a crowded street turning people into the crazed flesh-eating creatures.

Using another clip from the same movie — hundreds of zombies scaling a wall to get to their prey — @RustlersOnline wrote: “One TV Left.” To see the image, watch the official trailer for the 2013 film on YouTube. It really does capture how I feel when I see news reports of the surge of shoppers rushing into stores in the early morning hours on Black Friday.

Daniel Crosby, (@incblot) a psychologist and behavioral finance expert, posted these tweets:

• “Just keep sleeping.”

• “Stay in PJs.”

• “No more stuff.”

• “Nah, I’m good.”

• “Don’t get trampled.”

• “Be with family.”

Christopher Rizzo (@rizzotweets) wrote, “American Shopping Olympics,” and posted this quote: “Black Friday: Because only in America, people trample others for sales exactly one day after being thankful for what they already have.”

Comedian Eric Schwartz (@ericschwartz) wrote: “Brick and murder,” which was accompanied by a picture of consumers pushing each other to grab a gigantic television. What is it about getting a discount on a TV that causes people to lose their minds?

Read more of the tweets while you’re waiting in that long checkout line or scouring for sales online. Maybe some of the tweets will inspire you to spend less or even put some stuff back.


Michelle Singletary welcomes comments and column ideas. Reach her in care of The Washington Post, 1150 15th St. N.W., Washington, DC 20071; or singletarym@washpost.com.

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