A card? That is a necessity. Flowers? Candy? A good meal out? Those would be nice, but they likely do not provide Mom with what she really wants this Mother’s Day.
No, as Americans pause today for an annual celebration of mothers and their countless sacrifices, we take this opportunity to provide a reminder of what Mom really wants: Time. Time alone. Time to relax. Time to focus on herself rather than catering to the needs of others. That doesn’t mean she does not want to see you today, but it does mean that at some point Mom would simply like to go for a hike by herself.
That is what surveys have revealed over the years as Americans prepare for a day that, according to the National Retail Foundation, will result in $23.6 billion being spent this year. Far from the original meaning of the occasion, which was declared a national holiday when President Woodrow Wilson signed a proclamation in 1914, Mother’s Day has become a retail bonanza.
That was not the intent of Anna Jarvis, who is regarded as the founder of Mother’s Day but came to lament the commercialization of the holiday. As The Associated Press reported in 2008, “Jarvis became known for scathing letters in which she would berate people who purchased greeting cards, saying they were too lazy to write personal letters.”
Jarvis was inspired by an idea that had been floated by her own mother and spent years pushing for the establishment of an official day to recognize moms everywhere. Jarvis claimed that in 1876, she heard her mother recite a prayer: “I hope and pray that someone, sometime, will found a memorial mother’s day commemorating her for the matchless service she renders to humanity in every field of life.”
Years later, Jarvis made promotion of a holiday her life’s work. In 1910, her home state of West Virginia formally established Mother’s Day, and other states soon followed. A few years later, Congress was on board, with the proclamation signed by Wilson declaring “a public expression of our love and reverence for the mothers of our country.” We will ignore, for now, the fact that women in many parts of the United States were not allowed to vote until 1920; that is an issue for another time.
No, what is important today is the meaning of Mother’s Day and the opportunity to say thanks for selfless devotion. According to Insure.com, this year’s Mother’s Day Index finds that the tasks performed by the typical mother would be worth a salary of $67,619. That sounds like a bargain — you know, if Mom were getting paid. Instead, mothers embrace their round-the-clock duties while expecting little more in return than unconditional love.
They serve as nurses and housekeepers and counselors and fixers of bicycles. As actress Jessica Lange is credited with saying, “The natural state of motherhood is unselfishness. When you become a mother, you are no longer the center of your own universe. You relinquish that position to your children.”
There are other quotes about mothers and motherhood, words that attempt and inevitably fail to capture the depth of a mother’s love. And they serve as a reminder that designating a single day to honor mothers is wholly inadequate; every day should be regarded as an opportunity to acknowledge mothers and the matchless service they render to humanity.
All of which can make it difficult to find the proper way to acknowledge Mom today. Don’t shy away from the cards or the flowers or the candy, but keep in mind that Mom probably also would like a little time set aside for herself.
Happy Mother’s Day.
