Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson has so much charisma it can be seen from space. His charisma should be considered a national resource and channeled to power homes and solve world hunger. It’s a precious and powerful tool that has lifted middling comedies like “Central Intelligence” and revved up the “Fast and Furious” franchise. But with the sloppy, incoherent “Baywatch,” that unstoppable force meets its match. Shockingly, The Rock’s charisma just can’t save everything.
One would think that the combination of Johnson and the sweet, dumb himbo charms of Zac Efron could cause a cinematic nuclear reaction, as it seemed throughout the production and marketing of the big-screen take on the iconic ’90s show. But what ends up on the screen, after months of anticipation, is just a mess. Poorly edited, terribly written, and tonally all over the place, “Baywatch” squanders all of its potential for some corny, sexy throwback fun.
Johnson steps into the red swim trunks made famous by David Hasselhoff as Mitch, lifeguard extraordinaire — waterman, hero, leader, quite possibly Aquaman himself. He leads a bevy of bodacious babes (Alexandra Daddario, Kelly Rohrbach, and Ilfenesh Hadera) in patrolling the bay, protecting all beach-loving denizens from any danger that might come their way.
Efron is disgraced Olympic swimmer Matt Brody, a pretty Ryan Lochte-type bad boy, with the tragic blonde highlights to prove it. Police Captain Thorpe (Rob Huebel) assigns the Olympian to the lifeguard team as a PR stunt, a fulfillment of his community service hours after a mystery plea deal. The contentious duo learn to be a team through many ocean-based rescues, boy-band nicknames, gay panic and light-hearted corpse desecration.
