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Reader-board signs a tribute to deceased father

By JULIE MUHLSTEIN, The Daily Herald
Published: March 18, 2018, 7:10pm

EVERETT — You’re not seeing double — or triple, or quadruple. Drivers along Everett’s Evergreen Way are noticing reader-board signs with the same message: “Don’t Forget to Open.”

It’s not what it might seem, maybe a reminder for businesses to open promptly with the switch to daylight saving time. Nope, this message is a tribute to a special father.

Everett’s Jason Tarver died March 14, 2015. He was just 45, and suffered from what his younger daughter said were complications after surgery.

“He was way too young. It took everybody by surprise,” said Khadija Tarver, 23, an Everett High School graduate who went on to the University of Pennsylvania in Philadelphia.

While she was at college, her father sent a packet of letters. For many days, he had written her little notes, or just jotted down playlists of music he liked. On the outside of the envelope, he had written “Don’t Forget to Open.”

Those daily notes came after she told him about a college class she had taken. The class had students exploring monastic living. They spent long periods being silent, and writing each day. “It was really interesting,” said Tarver, now a consultant with Accenture in the Bellevue area.

Tarver suggested her parents give the daily writing a try. She said mother Reiko Tarver, a teacher at Everett’s Madison Elementary School, didn’t take her up on the idea, but her dad put pen to paper. That “Don’t Forget to Open” envelope contained all sorts of warm wishes.

“Most of it was how proud he was of me. There were really kind things, pages and pages,” she said.

Since her father’s death, Tarver has been exploring ways of expressing grief. She is also an artist who from April 20-June 2 will present a solo show called “A Circle Made by Walking” at the METHOD gallery in Seattle. That installation is intended to look at grief as a continuing process.

Those reader boards outside businesses along Evergreen Way are also art installations, Tarver said. She talked with business owners and managers, told them about her dad’s letters, and asked if they would display “Don’t Forget to Open” on their signs Wednesday through Sunday — coinciding with the time, three years ago, when her father died.

She’s calling the sign display, which will stretch from Rucker Avenue in downtown Everett to as far south as Airport Road on Evergreen Way, “Jason Joel Tarver This is for You.”

By last Monday, she said, nearly a dozen businesses along the Evergreen Way corridor had agreed to put “Don’t Forget to Open” on signs. Among them, she said, are Pacific Stone Company, Mikie’s Restaurant and General Brushless Car Wash.

It’s a tribute, but there’s more to the message. “I hope to remind people to open themselves to anything they have closed off,” she said. Tarver also sees the signs as a chance to grieve publicly, through contact with businesses and the Evergreen Way Alliance community group.

“In society, we don’t hold space to honor those who have passed — and so the sensitive times come up and we go through the grief alone,” said Tarver, who majored in environmental studies and risk management. “People are allowed a very short period of time to grieve, then are expected to act normal again even though the passing of a close loved one often fundamentally changes us.”

On Nov. 30, which would have been her dad’s 48th birthday, she said about 50 family members and friends gathered at Mikie’s, his favorite hamburger restaurant. Tarver believes it’s best for everyone “to gather, speak and celebrate those who have passed.”

At Pacific Stone Company, owner Timothy Gray said the business doesn’t ordinarily honor requests from the public for reader-board messages. “I had a lady once walk in and say, ‘Here’s my birthday list,’ ” Gray said. “We don’t do that.” Any birthdays on the sign are either his or employees.

His company’s sign does note some local organizations, including the Everett Rock & Gem Club or events at the Evergreen Arboretum in Legion Park.

James Martin, a manager at Pacific Stone Company, said the sign changes every other week or so. Martin, whose 17-year-old son, Isaiah, works there, too, said that when a “We Like Cookies” message went up, folks stopped by to bring them cookies.

Tarver is grateful to businesses honoring her request. Her dad, she said, “was born, raised and passed away in Everett — the city he loved more than anything.” An athlete at Everett High School, he mentored his girls Khadija and Simone as they became competitive soccer players.

Khadija Tarver said she was lucky to get those letters “that perfectly exemplified his humor, heart and incredible taste in music.”

She never forgot to open them. And she’ll always remember and love him.

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