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Fostering helps family achieve vision of a house brimming with love

By Marissa Harshman for The Columbian
Published: May 13, 2018, 6:06am
8 Photos
Shannon Williams laughs as her 2½-year-old foster son drapes a blanket over his head. Moriah Williams, 16, right, is one of Shannon Williams’ three biological children.
Shannon Williams laughs as her 2½-year-old foster son drapes a blanket over his head. Moriah Williams, 16, right, is one of Shannon Williams’ three biological children. Photo Gallery

Shannon Williams was enjoying a rare moment of silence. The mother of three had gotten her children — all under the age of 5 — down for their naps at the same time. She retreated to the couch to relax in the quiet.

As she sat there, Shannon envisioned her family. She, her husband, Saxon, and their three children, London, Moriah and Dawson — all smiling in a family photo. But they weren’t alone.

“There were a lot more children than the three we had,” Shannon said.

When Saxon got home from work, Shannon told her husband about her vision.

“He said he had the same picture in his mind,” Shannon said.

At the time, the family was living in North Carolina. Shannon and Saxon were both working full time in youth ministry. Despite their busy lives — and having thought twice already they were done having children — Shannon and Saxon took the vision as a sign that their family wasn’t complete.

“We are a family of faith, and faith is very important to us,” Shannon said. “I felt impressed that we weren’t done.”

Shannon could no longer have children, so the couple turned to adoption to grow their family. After two years full of delays, Shannon and Saxon brought their 8-month-old daughter Elliana home from Ethiopia in 2010.

They moved across the country and, a few years later, the Battle Ground family began opening their home to foster children. In four years, the Williams family has fostered 15 children. Some have stayed for weeks, others for years. And some will never leave.

This summer, Shannon and Saxon hope to finalize the adoption of a little boy, 2 1/2 -year-old Carter, whom they’ve fostered since he was 3 days old.

“We know families that get into foster care to adopt, but that wasn’t us,” said Shannon, 41. “But, here we are, with a house full of children.”

‘There’s just such a need’

When Shannon and Saxon first approached local foster parent liaison Kim Glover, they didn’t do it with intentions of becoming foster parents. Their pastor at Elevate Church asked the couple to gather information about how the church could support local foster children.

“She said, ‘You can be a foster parent,’ ” Shannon said.

The Williamses clarified. They wanted to know how the church community could support displaced kids. Maybe purchase backpacks or shoes or school supplies, they offered.

“She said, ‘You can get your whole church interested in fostering,’ ” Shannon said. “She got our attention.”

Later that day, Shannon and Saxon began the monthslong licensing process to become foster parents.

Five months later, in late 2014, Shannon got a call from the foster placement desk in Clark County. A 15-month-old boy needed a place to stay. Shannon explained that she wasn’t yet licensed. The license, the worker told her, was signed minutes earlier.

“I later learned that kind of thing happens a lot,” Shannon said. “There’s just such a need.”

Two days later, Shannon found herself in a meeting with an attorney, a court-appointed special advocate and the child’s parents. The boy’s mother, Shannon said, was broken.

“My heart just broke,” she said. “I wasn’t prepared for that.”

When the two-hour meeting ended, the mother told Shannon she had been raised in foster care and never wanted that for her child. In that moment, Shannon realized the cyclical nature of foster care and the impact of addiction and mental illness.

“I have been so inspired by some of the moms, and the families in general, who fight for their lives, to get clean, to get the help they need,” Shannon said.

Shannon watched as one mom went above and beyond every requirement set before her. If she was assigned to go to a meeting, she attended three. If she had to attend a class, she took two, Shannon said.

The woman’s children were returned two years ago. Shannon still gets weekly text updates from the mother.

“We created this connection because I loved her boys, and she loved her boys,” Shannon said.

Shannon remains in touch with several of the families of children they’ve fostered. She also connects with the families while the children are in her care. And even after Carter’s adoption is finalized, Shannon expects his birth mother to remain a part of their lives.

“It doesn’t diminish my motherhood to share the love of a child with another woman,” Shannon said.

“The kids in our home represent so many mothers,” she added. “Every mother deserves to be honored for her position as a mother — even if she’s not able to parent on a daily basis.”

Bustling with love

Shannon and Saxon are currently the parents of three teens, three toddlers and an 8-year-old. In addition to the four Williams children and Carter, they’re fostering a 2 1/2 -year-old boy and his 14-month-old sister. They’ve been fostering the siblings since they were 7 weeks and 24 hours old, respectively.

Their home is full — at least for now.

“I would say that we’re done, but I don’t know,” said Saxon, 41.

Their oldest, London, is graduating from high school in a few weeks. And Moriah, 16, only has a couple of more years in high school. Who’s to say what will happen as their older children leave the home, Saxon said.

“I don’t think we thought we would be parents of three toddlers in our 40s,” he said.

“I hope we’ve learned to stop saying what we won’t ever do,” Shannon added, “because then it becomes laughable when we do it.”

While Shannon and Saxon never envisioned becoming foster parents, they’ve been touched by every child who has come through their home. They love each child while they’re in the home and continue to love them once they leave, Saxon said.

People often ask the couple if they hold back to shield their hearts from the pain when a foster child leaves. But Shannon and Saxon said they’ll take the pain every single time if it means a child will hurt a little less.

“The key is to love without limits and then let go,” Shannon said. “I put no limits on my heart, and then prepare for the heartbreak.”

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