PDX is an acronym that stands for PORTLAND, OR The rasion 'd etre for this BLOG is to maintain a critical eye, albeit tongue-in-cheek, on the Mass Media -- particularly the so-called news outlets on The Idiot Box (TV) in the PORTLAND-VANCOUVER metro area. WARNING: The author subscribes to a school of thought which maintains that being brash is not a bad attribute. This space is not for jellyfish. NOTE: Each "Comment" is actually a mini-review.
1. Over coffee and a cheese taco, I viewed 45 minutes worth of "Good Day Oregon" on KPTV in Portland at 7:30 a.m. Tuesday July 20. An off-camera announcer affirmed that they were "First. Live. Local." He repeatedly invited viewers to watch "a 12-minute look at the news, weather and traffic at the top of every half hour." An anchor named Pete Ferry, who is a dead ringer for Peter Sellers, apologized for televising the wrong video while reading an account about a "sex toy" heist. Their weatherman, whose claim to fame is evidently not wearing a tie, made a joke about being improperly framed by his cameraman. The female co-anchor let loose with sporadic bursts of cackling laughter throughout the broadcast. "New This Morning" were reports about a bobcat and a missing hot dog. The crew glides between segments thusly: "Back to you, guys." One viewer called in wondering why the mist on the ground hadn't been forecast by the station's meterologist. I topped my breakfast with a pain killer as they went for a "live look outside."
2. Joe "Thanks For Waking Up With Us" Smith ought to say "Stay with us PRETTY please" before each commercial break because "Stay with us, PLEASE" is not enough of an enticement to watch NewsChannel 8 @ Sunrise. I tuned in at 6:10 a.m. Saturday July 24 just in time to catch an absolutely awful weather report presided over by a tongue-tied Keeley Chalmers: "The lows... rather the highs will be..." Meanwhile, the anchor rattled off "stories" about Wal Mart and McDonalds amid commercials for Toyota and Fiber One. With lengthy "reports" about $69 hot dogs and recipes for steak & lobster at 6:40 a.m., it's no wonder that half the population is obese around here. They'll be back with a story about a sinkhole plus "The Birthday Song," but without me singing along.
3. Watching "KATU On Your Side" at 5 a.m. July 27 was more like tuning in a game show and/or horror movie than a newscast: There was a commercial for "Wheel of Fortune," a video of one viewer recounting a recent Tele-Quiz regarding how many films people go to each year (8), and today's "Question of the Day" -- which household item lasts 2.7 years? Anchor Brian Wood wondered out loud if it wasn't something in the fridge, prompting giggles from those on the set. Interspersed with plugs for "Good Morning America" was a ghastly account concerning the world's first full-face transplant, plus a spine-tingling X-ray of a metal rod stuck in a boy's brain. "Back Live," co-anchor Natali Marmion, whose haggard announcing style suggests a vitamin-deficiency, remarked that it was a "beautiful day" that warranted a "beautiful forecast." The weatherman duly complied with some "beautiful weather." The audience was also treated to a primer on how to "adopt" a dog. After a report dealing with a missing camper, an update on a missing grade-schooler and a piece about two missing sailors, they promised to be back after the break with more for "Your Tuesday" -- only with me missing.
4. I opted to play with my remote control during the latest "newscasts." It's incredible what gets on the air nowadays: A. Channel 12 was obliged to explain that a forest fire that's "20% contained" really means that it is "by no means out of the woods." B. According to Channel 6, "nine weeks" is now considered a "milestone." C. "Pinpoint Weather" explained that "not as thick as yesterday" actually means "thicker." As it's a "slow news" day, KOIN-TV anchor Eric Taylor couldn't refrain from twirling his tie around his neck whilst on-camera. He raised it over his head with one hand, stuck his tongue out, and imitated a hanging -- much to the delight of his co-host. On a different show, the guy in the studio told a colleague, "Thank you for keeping us updated out there." Back Live, another anchorwoman switched to a "Live Cam" indicating it was so dark outside that only the street lights were discernible. "We'll be right back with more," she announced as I pressed my OFF button.
5. If I'm not mistaken, it was 11 p.m. Thursday August 19 on KGW -- "Where the News Comes First --when I saw a film clip of a carjacking at Dallas Love Field, which I had already heard about on the radio. The Anchorman wondered why "all" carjackers do so bare-chested? This query caused merriment on the set. Lo and behold! The same exact scenario played out on the 5 a.m. Newscast. A carjacking is no laughing matter. The fact that the perpetrator was bare-chested isn't funny, either. But what irked me was the realization that the AM Anchorman had come up with the same exact line that the PM Anchorman had enunciated the day before! The reaction on both sets was equally jovial; nobody questioned the suspect's easy access to the tarmac. I wanted to send the General Manager of Channel 8 a note recommending that they staff their shows with slightly different mindsets and to install a Personnel Director who understands what diversity means. Now, you may wonder why I watch the news at nightfall and again at daybreak. I think it's because nowadays, they run invitations to tune in "The Late News" while you're watching "The Early News," and commercials for "The Evening News" on the "The Afternoon News." If you want to call it "news," that is.
6. I almost became dizzy from listening to the cast of "NewsChannel 8 @ Sunrise" wishing each other "Good Morning" eight times between 6 a.m. and 6:15 a.m. on Friday August 13. Earlier, I was treated to The Ultimate Plug when fill-in anchor Chris Murphy -- an employee of the local NBC affiliate -- reported that NBC's Matt Lauer earns $16 million a year. This revelation prompted co-host Brenda Braxton -- who's also on the payroll of a station that televises "Today" -- to remark that Matt is "one of the nicest people on the planet." Never mind that his marital life was splattered all-over the tabloids during the Winter Olympics! On the set, Chris and Brenda are seated side-by-side, facing the camera. However, they continually turn their heads to look at each other. I wondered if their necks don't ache after the telecast? They also fed me stories about a chef who kisses toads and a chap who kisses skateboards, prompting me to kiss this "newscast" good-bye before they could segueway into "The Today Show" with Matt Lauer.
7. At 7:30 a.m. Thursday August 26, KPTV weatherman Andy Carson stated that he was glad to be "in" for himself after fill-in anchor Wayne Garcia said that he was "in" for regular anchor Pete Ferry. Earlier, part-time anchor Debra Gil offered an "update" on the "Search For Kyron." According to the "legal expert" she interviewed, the most significant development was: "Nothing Happened." In between, viewers were treated to pronouncements like "Wow," "Yeah" and "Come On" from co-anchor Kimberly Maus. The show also features a segment wherein public enemies sought by taxpayer-funded law enforcement agencies are unabashedly billed as "Fox 12's Most Wanted." While the most striking aspect about this particular "newscast" was that the grown man who hosted the show sported a hairdo better suited for "American Idol," I was also taken aback by an invitation to take a tour on Friday that is only presented Monday through Thursday! "Just Ahead," a memo to station bosses suggesting that they scratch non-stories, buy combs for their personalities, not send viewers on wild goose chases and do away with anchor overkill!
9. Good Morning. This is "12 on 12," a 12-minute look at the news, weather and sports on Channel 12 at 6 a.m. Saturday August 28. "New this morning," new details and "new information" that amounted to a rehash of yesterday's news: An "interview" with a divorced couple who've reunited against a female bodybuilder who caused them to separate and whom they accuse of kidnapping their son (no word if her detective husband approves); A rerun about the firing of a TriMet bus driver who ran over several pedestrians; A repeat about plans to relocate "Kyron's Wall of Hope," an assemblage of trinkets, balloons and messages placed along a chain link fence for the missing grade-schooler. Weatherwise, if forecaster Brian MacMillan got any closer to anchorwoman Debbie Gil, she'd be sitting on his lap. They practically breathe down each other's throats as they gaze into each other's eyes. Back to you.
9. "From the KGW Studio in the Square" here is Wayne Havrelly, who looks like Ronald Reagan. Looks like. "The Gipper" is probably turning in his grave at this reincarnation. Havrelly's body language is devoid of The Great Communicator's attributes: He grins at the wrong time and continually makes non-sensical gestures, all the while exuding an "I want to be lovable" presence. He doesn't come close to emulating Reagan's persuasive voice or projecting his charisma. At 6:15 a.m., Havrelly announced that a report on what to expect the first week of school was next. But it wasn't aired until a half hour later after two movie reviews, a film clip showing collegiate freshmen collecting second-hand school supplies and footage of corpulent commuters complaining about five-cent fare increases. At one point, Havrelly grinned, waved a sheet of paper with his left hand and jerked upwards from his chair as he introduced a video dealing with dirty refrigerators. That stomach-turning video had to be disgested with a live tour of a tortilla factory! I forget what back-to-school is going to be like this year because that story was followed by some chilling pictures of a man frolicking with a monstrous snake, obliging me to close the book on KGW NewsChannel 8 at Sunrise." Thanks for waking up with us.
10. If you like canned news, North West Cable News (NWCN) is for you. Tune in anytime, 24/7. There's always be a well-educated, smooth-talking and nicely dressed anchorperson reading a tele-prompter full of WASP-ish information there. The weather is invariably recited first. For some reason, most of the on-air talent comes across as having attended the same journalism school. You probably won't watch more than 30 minutes because the next 30 minutes will sound like the last 30 minutes: Same old cheese, only a different color. Their website is actually more interesting than the broadcast.
blanch, i feel sorry for you... you seem to have a great lack of compassion. this man was imprisoned for a crime HE did not commit. you do not know the location of his residence of employment but youj ASSUME there is a resonable public transport between the two locations. having his own means of movement gives him a better flexibility for his life. it could ease the search ( if he so desired) to seek out a better paying job to allow for a more comfortable future.but then since he has spent time in prison (for someone elses actions)perhaps you do not feel he deserves a better life... my god but i do pity you..
PDX is an acronym that stands for PORTLAND, OR
The rasion 'd etre for this BLOG is to maintain a critical eye, albeit tongue-in-cheek, on the Mass Media -- particularly the so-called news outlets on The Idiot Box (TV) in the PORTLAND-VANCOUVER metro area.
WARNING: The author subscribes to a school of thought which maintains that being brash is not a bad attribute. This space is not for jellyfish.
NOTE: Each "Comment" is actually a mini-review.
blanche — September 18, 2010 at 8:43 p.m. ( reply | permalink | suggest removal )
1. Over coffee and a cheese taco, I viewed 45 minutes worth of "Good Day Oregon" on KPTV in Portland at 7:30 a.m. Tuesday July 20. An off-camera announcer affirmed that they were "First. Live. Local." He repeatedly invited viewers to watch "a 12-minute look at the news, weather and traffic at the top of every half hour." An anchor named Pete Ferry, who is a dead ringer for Peter Sellers, apologized for televising the wrong video while reading an account about a "sex toy" heist. Their weatherman, whose claim to fame is evidently not wearing a tie, made a joke about being improperly framed by his cameraman. The female co-anchor let loose with sporadic bursts of cackling laughter throughout the broadcast. "New This Morning" were reports about a bobcat and a missing hot dog. The crew glides between segments thusly: "Back to you, guys." One viewer called in wondering why the mist on the ground hadn't been forecast by the station's meterologist. I topped my breakfast with a pain killer as they went for a "live look outside."
blanche — September 18, 2010 at 8:48 p.m. ( reply | permalink | suggest removal )
2. Joe "Thanks For Waking Up With Us" Smith ought to say "Stay with us PRETTY please" before each commercial break because "Stay with us, PLEASE" is not enough of an enticement to watch NewsChannel 8 @ Sunrise. I tuned in at 6:10 a.m. Saturday July 24 just in time to catch an absolutely awful weather report presided over by a tongue-tied Keeley Chalmers: "The lows... rather the highs will be..." Meanwhile, the anchor rattled off "stories" about Wal Mart and McDonalds amid commercials for Toyota and Fiber One. With lengthy "reports" about $69 hot dogs and recipes for steak & lobster at 6:40 a.m., it's no wonder that half the population is obese around here. They'll be back with a story about a sinkhole plus "The Birthday Song," but without me singing along.
blanche — September 18, 2010 at 8:52 p.m. ( reply | permalink | suggest removal )
3. Watching "KATU On Your Side" at 5 a.m. July 27 was more like tuning in a game show and/or horror movie than a newscast: There was a commercial for "Wheel of Fortune," a video of one viewer recounting a recent Tele-Quiz regarding how many films people go to each year (8), and today's "Question of the Day" -- which household item lasts 2.7 years? Anchor Brian Wood wondered out loud if it wasn't something in the fridge, prompting giggles from those on the set. Interspersed with plugs for "Good Morning America" was a ghastly account concerning the world's first full-face transplant, plus a spine-tingling X-ray of a metal rod stuck in a boy's brain. "Back Live," co-anchor Natali Marmion, whose haggard announcing style suggests a vitamin-deficiency, remarked that it was a "beautiful day" that warranted a "beautiful forecast." The weatherman duly complied with some "beautiful weather." The audience was also treated to a primer on how to "adopt" a dog. After a report dealing with a missing camper, an update on a missing grade-schooler and a piece about two missing sailors, they promised to be back after the break with more for "Your Tuesday" -- only with me missing.
blanche — September 18, 2010 at 8:55 p.m. ( reply | permalink | suggest removal )
4. I opted to play with my remote control during the latest "newscasts." It's incredible what gets on the air nowadays:
A. Channel 12 was obliged to explain that a forest fire that's "20% contained" really means that it is "by no means out of the woods."
B. According to Channel 6, "nine weeks" is now considered a "milestone."
C. "Pinpoint Weather" explained that "not as thick as yesterday" actually means "thicker."
As it's a "slow news" day, KOIN-TV anchor Eric Taylor couldn't refrain from twirling his tie around his neck whilst on-camera. He raised it over his head with one hand, stuck his tongue out, and imitated a hanging -- much to the delight of his co-host.
On a different show, the guy in the studio told a colleague, "Thank you for keeping us updated out there." Back Live, another anchorwoman switched to a "Live Cam" indicating it was so dark outside that only the street lights were discernible. "We'll be right back with more," she announced as I pressed my OFF button.
blanche — September 18, 2010 at 9:04 p.m. ( reply | permalink | suggest removal )
5. If I'm not mistaken, it was 11 p.m. Thursday August 19 on KGW -- "Where the News Comes First --when I saw a film clip of a carjacking at Dallas Love Field, which I had already heard about on the radio. The Anchorman wondered why "all" carjackers do so bare-chested? This query caused merriment on the set. Lo and behold! The same exact scenario played out on the 5 a.m. Newscast. A carjacking is no laughing matter. The fact that the perpetrator was bare-chested isn't funny, either. But what irked me was the realization that the AM Anchorman had come up with the same exact line that the PM Anchorman had enunciated the day before! The reaction on both sets was equally jovial; nobody questioned the suspect's easy access to the tarmac. I wanted to send the General Manager of Channel 8 a note recommending that they staff their shows with slightly different mindsets and to install a Personnel Director who understands what diversity means. Now, you may wonder why I watch the news at nightfall and again at daybreak. I think it's because nowadays, they run invitations to tune in "The Late News" while you're watching "The Early News," and commercials for "The Evening News" on the "The Afternoon News." If you want to call it "news," that is.
blanche — September 18, 2010 at 9:10 p.m. ( reply | permalink | suggest removal )
6. I almost became dizzy from listening to the cast of "NewsChannel 8 @ Sunrise" wishing each other "Good Morning" eight times between 6 a.m. and 6:15 a.m. on Friday August 13. Earlier, I was treated to The Ultimate Plug when fill-in anchor Chris Murphy -- an employee of the local NBC affiliate -- reported that NBC's Matt Lauer earns $16 million a year. This revelation prompted co-host Brenda Braxton -- who's also on the payroll of a station that televises "Today" -- to remark that Matt is "one of the nicest people on the planet." Never mind that his marital life was splattered all-over the tabloids during the Winter Olympics! On the set, Chris and Brenda are seated side-by-side, facing the camera. However, they continually turn their heads to look at each other. I wondered if their necks don't ache after the telecast? They also fed me stories about a chef who kisses toads and a chap who kisses skateboards, prompting me to kiss this "newscast" good-bye before they could segueway into "The Today Show" with Matt Lauer.
blanche — September 18, 2010 at 9:14 p.m. ( reply | permalink | suggest removal )
7. At 7:30 a.m. Thursday August 26, KPTV weatherman Andy Carson stated that he was glad to be "in" for himself after fill-in anchor Wayne Garcia said that he was "in" for regular anchor Pete Ferry. Earlier, part-time anchor Debra Gil offered an "update" on the "Search For Kyron." According to the "legal expert" she interviewed, the most significant development was: "Nothing Happened." In between, viewers were treated to pronouncements like "Wow," "Yeah" and "Come On" from co-anchor Kimberly Maus. The show also features a segment wherein public enemies sought by taxpayer-funded law enforcement agencies are unabashedly billed as "Fox 12's Most Wanted." While the most striking aspect about this particular "newscast" was that the grown man who hosted the show sported a hairdo better suited for "American Idol," I was also taken aback by an invitation to take a tour on Friday that is only presented Monday through Thursday! "Just Ahead," a memo to station bosses suggesting that they scratch non-stories, buy combs for their personalities, not send viewers on wild goose chases and do away with anchor overkill!
blanche — September 18, 2010 at 9:17 p.m. ( reply | permalink | suggest removal )
9. Good Morning. This is "12 on 12," a 12-minute look at the news, weather and sports on Channel 12 at 6 a.m. Saturday August 28. "New this morning," new details and "new information" that amounted to a rehash of yesterday's news: An "interview" with a divorced couple who've reunited against a female bodybuilder who caused them to separate and whom they accuse of kidnapping their son (no word if her detective husband approves); A rerun about the firing of a TriMet bus driver who ran over several pedestrians; A repeat about plans to relocate "Kyron's Wall of Hope," an assemblage of trinkets, balloons and messages placed along a chain link fence for the missing grade-schooler. Weatherwise, if forecaster Brian MacMillan got any closer to anchorwoman Debbie Gil, she'd be sitting on his lap. They practically breathe down each other's throats as they gaze into each other's eyes. Back to you.
blanche — September 18, 2010 at 9:21 p.m. ( reply | permalink | suggest removal )
9. "From the KGW Studio in the Square" here is Wayne Havrelly, who looks like Ronald Reagan. Looks like. "The Gipper" is probably turning in his grave at this reincarnation. Havrelly's body language is devoid of The Great Communicator's attributes: He grins at the wrong time and continually makes non-sensical gestures, all the while exuding an "I want to be lovable" presence. He doesn't come close to emulating Reagan's persuasive voice or projecting his charisma. At 6:15 a.m., Havrelly announced that a report on what to expect the first week of school was next. But it wasn't aired until a half hour later after two movie reviews, a film clip showing collegiate freshmen collecting second-hand school supplies and footage of corpulent commuters complaining about five-cent fare increases. At one point, Havrelly grinned, waved a sheet of paper with his left hand and jerked upwards from his chair as he introduced a video dealing with dirty refrigerators. That stomach-turning video had to be disgested with a live tour of a tortilla factory! I forget what back-to-school is going to be like this year because that story was followed by some chilling pictures of a man frolicking with a monstrous snake, obliging me to close the book on KGW NewsChannel 8 at Sunrise." Thanks for waking up with us.
blanche — September 18, 2010 at 9:25 p.m. ( reply | permalink | suggest removal )
10. If you like canned news, North West Cable News (NWCN) is for you. Tune in anytime, 24/7. There's always be a well-educated, smooth-talking and nicely dressed anchorperson reading a tele-prompter full of WASP-ish information there. The weather is invariably recited first. For some reason, most of the on-air talent comes across as having attended the same journalism school. You probably won't watch more than 30 minutes because the next 30 minutes will sound like the last 30 minutes: Same old cheese, only a different color. Their website is actually more interesting than the broadcast.
blanche — September 18, 2010 at 9:48 p.m. ( reply | permalink | suggest removal )
blanch, i feel sorry for you... you seem to have a great lack of compassion. this man was imprisoned for a crime HE did not commit. you do not know the location of his residence of employment but youj ASSUME there is a resonable public transport between the two locations. having his own means of movement gives him a better flexibility for his life. it could ease the search ( if he so desired) to seek out a better paying job to allow for a more comfortable future.but then since he has spent time in prison (for someone elses actions)perhaps you do not feel he deserves a better life... my god but i do pity you..
jeepboyx9 — May 3, 2011 at 8:29 a.m. ( reply | permalink | suggest removal )