December 11, 2009
OK, I admit it. The infidelity coverage of Tiger Woods and South Carolina Gov. Terry Sanford and their wives has grabbed my attention, partly for the satisfaction of knowing that even the wealtiest, most talented and smartest people screw up. But once I get past that, I am reading with interest the details of how these couples will deal with infidelity, a failure of trust and the damage brought to the relationships. And how they will sort things out, financially. Early on when I was going through my divorce of a couple of years ago, there was the tiny thought that my marriage could be put back together. My expert counselor explained how tough that would be because of the lingering distrust and bitterness from what had happened. After several months of wavering, I filed for divorce and began the process of dividing up joint assets held by me and my husband in the no-fault state of Washington. It was then that the pre-nup agreement we had signed 17 years earlier came into play. Because of children from prior marriages, we agreed that a pre-nup to protect separate assets was in order. We were rushing to get something in place before our planned marriage just days away. When the final document came back, I remember being surprised to see that my soon-to-be husband's pension would be a separate asset. But I shrugged my shoulders and signed. I would later regret that when at 60 I faced a future, 60 & Single with a diminished financial profile, much more limited than the one planned with my husband. So what advice would I give to women about to marry or about to divorce? First, if you're marrying and agree to a pre-nup, give yourself plenty of time to look it over before signing. It shouldn't be a rush-rush thing. Have a separate attorney look it over with your best interest in mind. Husbands usually come out the winners in pre-nups. Mine did. Secondly, if you're divorcing, choose an attorney who will be a firm, but not mean spirited. Accept the idea that your lifestyle will change, but then stand your ground. If he's involved with another woman, he'll just want to get it over with. That's an advantage to you. Gov. Sanford's wife, Jenny, filed for divorce today. There's a lot at stake for her financial future and that of her children. The tabloids are still speculating about what Elin Nordegren (Tiger's wife) will do. The Wall Street Journal asked some experts for their advice on what she might consider. Click here for "Financial Advice for Mrs. Tiger Woods."
