Once again, I have not been disappointed by government.
After three-and-a-half decades of maintaining my septic system without assistance, in 2015, in response to yet another nanny law, I had my system professionally inspected. It didn’t “need” to be pumped, just as it hasn’t needed it in the last three and a half decades. (How much poop can a couple produce?) Nevertheless, I had it pumped.
Earlier this year we attended a Clark County Health Department class on how to poke poop, and discovered that we’d been poking poop correctly all these years. But we now had “official” poop poker training, and were endowed with the power to poke our own poop every other cycle with the blessing and recognition of local government. (Be still, my beating heart.)
In October I again poked my poop, and with my newly acquired power completed my official poop-poking form and mailed it to Poop Central.
Right on cue, I just received a response from Poop Central confirming that while the drones safely cocooned in the bowels of government have the power to require we proles poke poop on command, the drones themselves cannot be relied on to as much as lift a finger to poke a “poop officially poked” confirmation key on a nice, clean keyboard.
