Existence would just be like a pile of plain, sliced white Wonder bread if it wasn’t for life’s little mysteries. And I found one of these little beauties involving our local election.
But before I get to it, let’s look at a few other mysteries. You know, stuff like why is the sky blue, how does Feb. 29 pop up every so often and is there anyone powerful enough to move Colorado to the border of Mexico? Let’s explore:
• Light during the day is made up of a bunch of colors. Because the color blue travels as shorter, smaller waves it gets scattered more than other colors and creates a blue sky. You see this play out every day when you wake up, except during a Vancouver winter. Then the blue disappears. Technically it’s still there, but it mysteriously moves in our heads, creating a gray sky and a malaise. But don’t fret, the blue feeling escapes our brains and returns to the sky sometime in July.
• Feb. 29 exists because the Earth is too dang slow — much like former Vancouver Mayor Royce Pollard when he’s jogging — so every once in a while it needs a good kick in the butt to keep up with the calendar. So we add a day every four years. (I’m kinda kidding, Mr. Mayor!)
• Colorado was moved to the Mexican border a few weeks ago by President Donald Trump. Trump is powerful. Very, very powerful. Extremely powerful. And amazing. Very, very amazing. Extremely amazing. So a few days ago he was endlessly blabbing to an audience when he said he was building that wall of his on the Colorado border to keep out those dangerous illegal aliens. I’m not kidding! He said this. So I’m guessing rather than ever admitting that he said something stupid he’ll simply move Colorado in a couple of weeks. I told you he is very powerful. Very, very powerful. Extremely powerful.