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News / Opinion / Letters to the Editor

Letter: Attend school at your own risk

By Randy Weirather, Vancouver
Published: July 23, 2020, 6:00am

You are invited to donate your child to a national study along with over 50 million others eligible across the nation. The purpose of the study is to send children to school in order to document how many students, teachers and family members can get sick or die from COVID-19, and to determine the breadth and severity of morbidities.

Disclaimer: Possible side effects of participation in the research include fever, cough, sore throat, diarrhea, headache, rash, lung damage, GI damage, heart problems, kidney failure, loss of taste and smell, embolisms, fatigue, brain damage, deathand possibly others. Effects may be lifelong.

Study safety precautions: none. However, participants are welcome to don masks and avoid others despite no studies about efficacy and subject compliance in a cohort of this younger age.

No enrollment fee required as the research is taxpayer funded!

Disclosure: This study has not been approved by any IRB (Institutional Review Board), especially for protection of human subjects.

Warning: Failure to register your child will condemn him or her to become a blithering idiot within three months, despite maturation and a child’s innate curiosity to learn from any environment.

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