MINNEAPOLIS — As an infectious disease specialist at the Mayo Clinic, Dr. Jack O’Horo is an expert on how to safely create a “COVID-19 bubble” a small, restricted group of people who visit each other’s homes mask-free and spend time together without keeping a 6-foot distance.
When he formed his bubble, the doctor’s closest friends didn’t make the cut, but three of his son’s playdates did.
As a pandemic winter approaches, many are reassessing our bubbles, trying to solidify the pods the kids will be tackling distance learning with and figuring out how to navigate indoor gatherings as safely as possible. But as we close ranks, create smaller social circles or break away from former bubbles, we might find ourselves facing difficult family dynamics, hard feelings and tough conversations.
O’Horo said he took a practical approach to creating his bubble, figuring it’s easier for adults to stay connected online or by phone than it is for little kids who want to play together.
“It’s not necessarily a value judgment if you’re outside of the bubble,” he said.
Even so, it can be tough to be on the outside looking in.
Forming bubbles has already become a contentious subject in the family therapy practice of William Doherty, a family social science professor at the University of Minnesota.
“Families have been around a very long time, but this is new territory,” he said.
From a safety perspective, it’s important for members of any bubble to have straightforward conversations about expectations. That helps members trust one another and hold one another accountable.
But that’s not always easy in a family group.
“You want to be able to trust these individuals to think of the good of the bubble first,” O’Horo said. “In the sense that they will protect your community by doing consistent masking and hand-washing behaviors and would tell you if they start to feel sick.”
That can prevent any further exposures and lead to an earlier diagnosis, O’Horo said.
During this time, “normal” social rules don’t necessarily apply.
“Canceling plans at the last minute has to be a little bit more acceptable in 2020 than it otherwise might have been,” O’Horo said. “It’s about everybody’s safety.”
Being clear and honest can also help when one member of the bubble isn’t following the agreed-upon rules, Doherty said.
“When you’ve got vulnerable family members or people with chronic illnesses, the elderly, the breaking of the bubble can be life-threatening,” he said. “A family member may have to say to somebody, ‘You can’t be in the bubble anymore.’ That can make us feel quite rejected.”
Everyone is making their own choices about how to create some sort of life balance right now. Whether you’re on the inside of the bubble looking out, or on the outside looking in, try not to take things personally, Doherty said.
