Tail of a Hardware Cat: Cheeto’s rise to fame, fortune and naptime

QUINCY — “Mkgnao!”

Each morning, as the day dawns and the hustle and bustle of the workday begins to buzz for the sleepy-eyed people who inhabit the Quincy Valley: off to work, off to school, out to the field; a tall skinny latte, no foam, please; so too does the day begin for one orange tabby cat: the one and only Cheeto.

Freshly self-groomed and donned with a necktie, Cheeto waits by the door for his owner, Uriel Heras, who laces up his boots and heads out the door with Cheeto’s trodding toe beans in tow.

“Mn Mrkgnao!” Cheeto tells Heras as he hops from the truck and enters Quincy Hardware and Lumber (QHL). He flaps his tail and looks around momentarily, sniffing the air. “Mkgnao,” he says as he struts past the plumbing toward the main entrance as if to say “ThIs sMeLls fUnNy.” “WhAt’s tHis? wAsn’t hErE yEsTeRdAy.” “Oh, thErE’s mY bEd.”

Cheeto finds his way to his cat tree, conveniently located directly across from the front counter. He bounds up three tiers of the tree and plants himself at the top, licking his paw. He begins to loaf and watch his coworkers.

The store clerks arrange sale items outside the storefront window and start the front counter’s registers for the day. One of them pulls the cord on the light-emitting diode sign in the window; in blue and red, it reads “open.”

For six years, Cheeto has been QHL’s Mouse Prevention Manager and Store Greeter and, according to fellow QHL employees, the most easy-going coworker ever. “He is probably the most relaxed coworker ever,” QHL employee Nate Gonzalez said. “He only does two things: sleep and eat,” added another QHL employee, Samantha Zarate. When asked for his opinion on his coworkers, Cheeto simply said, “mrkrgnao,” and made no further comment.

Life wasn’t always a walk in the hardware store for little Cheeto. He began life feral, living life on the streets and over the edge: a true alley cat. Six years ago on a cold, grey December day, Heras, who was then employed at QHL, was stepping out for lunch when a scrawny, malnourished cat jetted inside the store through the back door.

Tina Stetner, the owner of QHL, was in her office when suddenly an orange streak flashed through her peripheral vision. Next thing she knew, Heras was poking his head into her office.

“Tina, did you see the cat?” He asked, “Should I go to lunch or catch the cat?”

“Yes!” Stetner exclaimed, “Catch the cat!”

When Heras found the cat, the little guy didn’t try to run away. “He got a little scared and went under a shelf,” he said. “When I reached under for him he smelled my hand and immediately started purring. So I picked him up and brought him into Tina.”

When placed in the office, the orange tabby started to rub against Stetner’s legs and emit a loud purr. Because Heras let him into the store, Stetener tasked him with taking care of their new friend, cleaning out his litter box and feeding him.

“I wasn’t even really a cat person, to be honest,” Heras said. “But slowly, as I would come into the store and clean out his litter box and give him food, he would always come up to me and knew me as the person who was going to feed him. He basically thought I was his dad at that point.”

At first, Cheeto was ill with ear mites and a respiratory infection. It was also noted that Cheeto was stinky, and required a spray to manage it. Cheeto went through two rounds of antibiotics prescribed by a veterinarian. Heras administered Cheeto’s medication. “When I’d give him the medicine, and again he’d just look at me like I was his dad,” Heras said. It took Cheeto a couple of months to fully recover and become the happy, healthy cat he is today.

Eventually, Cheeto began to follow Heras around the store, and a bond was formed between the two. Back in those days, Cheeto would be left at the store over the weekend in the hopes that he would catch mice.

“In the six years that he’s been here, he’s probably caught three mice,” Heras said.

“No,” Stetner interjected. “I found one dead mouse in the store.”

“Okay,” Heras replied with a chuckle. “Maybe four.”

A few months ago, Stetner was surprised by a mouse in her office. “I ran from my office screaming,” she said. Stetner ran to Cheeto, who was asleep in his bed. When she tried to pick him up, he dug in his claws, refusing to move. “He wouldn’t move for nothing,” she added.

When asked about this incident Cheeto said, “gurrhr,” and made no further comment.

With Cheeto spending the weekend at the store, he would get into some trouble, tearing up flip-flops and eating fishing pole handles–these items would then be discounted. However, Heras began to feel bad that Cheeto may be lonely, so he started taking Cheeto home. As their bond grew, so too did Heras’ acceptance of himself as a cat dad. He began to buy Cheeto toys, costumes, and, of course, his staple neckties. “He mostly just chills around at home too,” Heras said. “But any toy I can put on a fishing string, he goes crazy for.”

Two and a half years ago, Heras left QHL for a different job; however, Cheeto’s employment at QHL has remained steady. “When he told me he was leaving, I said, well, we have to have shared custody,” Stetner said. It was at this time that it was decided that Cheeto would work a shift from 9 a.m. to 4 p.m. Monday through Friday, with the occasional Saturday. “If I go for a hike or something, I will drop him off because he won’t stay in the little bag I got him,” Heras said.

“But you boys did take him fishing,” Stetner added.

“Yes, we did take him fishing at Evergreen Lake,” Heras replied. “We took him on the boat and he was fine. He was curious about the water but never jumped in. There is a little island in the lake, so we let him play on it while we fished. He was pouncing on whatever he could find.”

As for other adventures with Cheeto, Heras remembers a time when he would go on QHL deliveries and take Cheeto. “He’s actually been on stage at The Gorge during one of our deliveries,” Heras said.

“He’s famous. It’s good for business, but he’s never gotten a pay raise because he doesn’t take on extra duties,” Stetner joked. “I can’t say that though because he is pretty spoiled. He has treats delivered on the freight truck. A customer brought him the cat tree that’s in the store. And, if you look above the front door, there is a painting of him that a customer painted and gave to us.”

QHL manager Jeremy Sewall happens to be allergic to cats and has a love-hate relationship with Cheeto. “One time, he used my seat as a toilet. Most of the time he sleeps all day,” Sewall said. “He’s hung up on customers, hit random numbers on the register that needed to be voided, and one time, he hit a button that printed off hundreds of receipts and the whole system had to be reset. The only real problem I have with him is my allergies. I haven’t met a cat as chill as him. I’m shocked at how well he does with kids.”

(This reporter can attest to the docile demeanor of Cheeto as I picked him up and packed him around like a baby — but be forewarned, just like his namesake, Cheeto leaves behind an orange residue in the form of a million-and-a-half orange hairs. The Wenatchee World Photo Editor Jacob Ford experienced Cheeto’s ornery side while trying to photograph him and ended up taking a claw to the hand.)

Sewall also noted that Cheeto and Stetner’s dog Sophie, who is often at the store, sometimes have beef. “She’s really protective of her food, and Cheeto will get ornery with her when she won’t let him have any and he will bop her,” Sewall said.

When asked about these incidents, Cheeto said, “mrkgrnao,” and made no further comment.

At the end of the work day, Heras picks up Cheeto, and they return home, where Cheeto is rewarded or “paid” for his hard work in the form of a tasty tube of delectable tuna tartar. The tale of Cheeto is a rags-to-riches story — one that inspires humans and felines alike to work harder, strive for more, and, most importantly, never pass up the opportunity for a solid nap.