Rom-coms for Valentine’s Day

Valentine’s Day is upon us, and rather than giving you candy and flowers, I’m offering mini-reviews of four new and newish streaming rom-coms. (Alas, I was not able to get an advance look at “Bridget Jones: Mad About the Boy,” which begins streaming Feb. 13 on Peacock. V. disappointed.)

To put it mildly, none of these are about to become the next “When Harry Met Sally,” but to paraphrase a line that’s probably in one of these movies, sometimes love comes when you least expect it. Wishing a romantic Feb. 14 to all!

‘You’re Cordially Invited’

(Prime Video original; 109 minutes)

Who should watch: Die-hard, not-too-picky fans of Reese Witherspoon and Will Ferrell.

The premise: Jim (Will Ferrell) is a goofy widowed dad whose daughter Jenni (Geraldine Viswanathan) has gotten engaged; Margot (Reese Witherspoon) is an uptight businesswoman whose younger sister Neve (Meredith Hagner) has gotten engaged. Due to a complication so unbelievable that I suspect nobody involved in this movie has ever planned an actual social event, the weddings turn out to be double-booked at a posh Southern island resort. Complications ensue, and if you are not sure who ends up together at the end, congratulations on watching your very first rom-com!

The setting: Nearly all of the movie takes place at the resort — clearly a magical place as it appears very small and intimate and yet is somehow able to absorb literally hundreds of guests, all of whom seem to be yelling at each other.

The chemistry: Hoo boy. Let me simply say that there is a CGI alligator in this movie — I hope it’s CGI; if it’s real, that alligator will never hold his head up again — and that the fake alligator has far better chemistry with its co-stars than Ferrell and Witherspoon have with each other. To be fair, it’s hard to have chemistry when your acting instructions are, presumably, “yell a lot.”

The other people: The brides, particularly the very funny Viswanathan, are sweet, and Celia Weston provides a refreshing dose of nastiness as Margot’s very Southern matriarch of a mother. It’s telling, though, that I can’t remember a single identifying feature about either of the grooms, though I could give you an excellent description of that alligator.

The life lesson learned: Apparently, it’s possible to completely remake a wedding dress an hour before a wedding by adding a cute peplum? Also, PSA: double-check your wedding venue.

Rating: 2 hearts

‘Prom Dates’

(Hulu original; 86 minutes)

Who should watch: Those who loved “ Booksmart “; fans of raunchy teen rom-coms.

The premise: Two high school seniors and best friends — Hannah (Julia Lester), who’s gay, and Jess (Antonia Gentry), who’s straight — ditch their dates just before prom, and have just 24 hours to find new partners for their long-planned epic prom night. This is basically the plot of “Booksmart,” but also includes an Italian vampire dude (which Jess thinks she can handle, as she knows some Italian after watching “The Lizzie McGuire Movie” a lot), a musical number, actor John Michael Higgins putting a condom on his head, and the truly excellent all-purpose retort “I would rather get into a Lyft with Thelma and Louise.”

The setting: A rather nondescript assortment of houses, some of them appropriately trashed for parties, in what appears to be a New Jersey suburb.

The chemistry: The friend vibes here are off the charts; Lester and Gentry are funny and absolutely believable as besties, and it’s fun to watch both of them bumble their way through encounters with potential romantic partners (most of which turn out to be disasters) while knowing they have safe harbor with each other.

The other people: Lots of random characters in this movie, of which my favorites were Hannah’s extremely obsessive friend Greg (Kenny Ridwan), who thinks he’s in love with her (“Maybe we can sing it out?” he texts to her, sensing a problem); Hannah’s dreamed-of girlfriend Angie (Terry Hu), with whom she fantasizes playing golf while wearing a lot of argyle; and the unfortunate couple who’s just trying to have a romantic moment by a fountain, only to have it interrupted by a vomiting teen. (Yes, be warned: there’s a lot of vomit in this movie.)

The life lesson learned: Love comes and love goes, but your best friend will always be there for you. Oh, and don’t go off to a bedroom with an Italian vampire, unless your Italian is very good.

Rating: 3.5 hearts

‘Find Me Falling’

(Netflix original; 94 minutes)

Who should watch: Harry Connick Jr. completists; those in need of a sunny vacation.

The premise: John (Connick Jr.), a world-famous rock star who once dated Cameron Diaz and Tyra Banks (both of whom have the good sense to not show up in this movie), has relocated to a small seaside cabin on a cliff in Cyprus, in order to flee problems in his career. And yet life has a way of catching up with him, including his ex, Sia (Agni Scott), who lives in this small town and who he once wrote a song about (“Girl on the Beach”) many years ago. Will they try again? Will he write another song about her and will it turn out to be truly terrible? Will he ever explain his many tattoos? Watch and find out! (Or maybe don’t, time being the precious thing that it is.)

The setting: The aforementioned cabin, and isn’t it odd that someone as famous as John — who is recognized even in this small Cyprus town — couldn’t afford something nicer, maybe something not on a cliff that turns out to be famous as a location at which people end their lives? (Yes, this movie has a weird suicide theme, right down to the title which is actually a lyric in John’s terrible song.)

The chemistry: Meh. Sia is a no-nonsense doctor and you’d think she’d have better sense than to get involved with John, who honestly seems like a bit of a dolt as he thinks that putting up a makeshift fence — which spans only a small fraction of the cliff — will stop any jumpers, not realizing that they can just, oh, step around it.

The other people: Well, there’s Melina (Ali Fumiko Whitney), a local musician who’s always rather tiresomely going on about music being a calling rather than a career, and … oh, should I spoil this movie’s one twist? No, I shan’t. You have been warned.

The life lesson learned: If you are in a position to buy a home in Cyprus, get yourself a good real estate agent.

Rating: 2 hearts

‘A Little White Lie’

(2023 movie, new on Netflix; 100 minutes)

Who should watch: Former English-lit graduate students; those who like their rom-coms quirky, bookish and not especially rommy or commy.

The premise: Simone (Kate Hudson), an English professor at a Midwestern college, tries desperately to keep her program’s writing festival alive by inviting Shriver (who doesn’t seem to have a first name), the acclaimed, reclusive author of the excellently titled novel “Goat Time” — but the invitation is accepted by a down-on-his-luck handyman (Michael Shannon) who shares the writer’s name. This sounds like a rom-com, right? Particularly the presence of Hudson? Well, it’s kind of a rom-com crossed with a toothless version of “American Fiction,” in that it both satirizes the book world (in this case, academia) and shows off Hudson’s cutely flowing hair.

The setting: The charming campus of fictional Acheron College, where at least one faculty member (Don Johnson, looking like he’s in on a joke that nobody else heard) rides a horse to school every day.

The chemistry: Hudson is a pro at this sort of thing, and Shannon is a sufficiently interesting actor — Shriver often seems as if speaking is causing him physical pain — that the pairing sort of works, in a how-could-this-possibly-work sort of way.

The other people: Da’Vine Joy Randolph (an Oscar winner last year for “The Holdovers”) hilariously swans through the film as a memoirist determined to get Shriver’s feedback on her book. Johnson’s character, the sort of writer whose last book “had an 80-page meditation on hay,” is reliably funny. Oh, and there’s a cute cat.

The life lesson learned: Double-check the IDs of people you invite to your conferences.

Rating: 2.5 hearts

Moira’s guide to streaming rom-coms

1 heart: Not even worth hate-watching

2 hearts: If there’s nothing else to watch, try this

3 hearts: Watchable, some semblance of plot

4 hearts: Cute, heartwarming

5 hearts: Cult classic