Clark County history: George Derby, road builder & humorist

Massachusetts-born soldier Lt. George Derby led a dual life as an Army topographer of significant ability and an ingenious humorist. Derby penned amusing satires, burlesques and books under the pen names “John P. Squibob,” “John Phoenix” and “Squibob” in his humor published by many West Coast newspapers.

As westward migration grew the population of Washington Territory, people demanded more roads. Roadways carried civilians and sped communication, encouraged economic growth, expanded settlement and provided military transport to protect citizens. Between 1855 and 1856, building wagon roads was the topographer’s work here. During that period, Derby constructed three military wagon roads: one from Astoria to Salem across Oregon’s Coast Range, one from Fort Vancouver to Fort Steilacoom on Puget Sound and another from Vancouver to Fort Dalles, Ore.

Because Oregon’s roads along the Columbia River used ferries, they made military transport impractical. So, Derby constructed a nearly 5-mile road across the Cascades (now the site of Bonneville Dam).

Among his road-building problems in the Pacific Northwest were the scarcity and costliness of horses and mules. He also reported that the runoff from the Gorge, lowland spring rains and snowmelt made a military route along the river’s north bank impractical. The Cascades crossing work began in May 1856, just weeks after the March 26 attack by Native Americans on settlers and soldiers. The fighting made civilian laborers nervous, and they asked to leave with their pay. Derby stopped the roadwork due to the recent conflict.

Humor followed Derby into the military from childhood. Once at the theater as a youth, Derby recalled seeing posters saying a Mrs. Smith would appear in two pieces. After her performance, he told everyone, “The bill said she would do it, and she came on like any other lady.” He even mixed drollness into some of his military notes. During the Mexican War, where he was wounded at the Battle of Kerri Gordo, Derby’s humor showed through: “We took 5 Generals, 30 Cols., 5,000 men, 30 pieces of Artillery and the ended the greatest fight of the age, probably.” While stationed at Vancouver, he wrote satirically about the pleasures there: “The officers are found quartered in comfortable houses, enjoying themselves to the extent that want of society and amusements permit.”

He disliked the Washington rain and, described its effect on the population. “The women lose their color, the men their hair (washed off, Sir), and the animals, by constant exposure, acquire scales and fins, like the natives of the deep. In fact, all the inhabitants of this territory have a generally scaly appearance.” He poked fun at Oregonians too, calling them “miserable creatures” eating salt, fat pork, cornbread, tea and brown sugar, noting even mothers fed their babies fat-dipped cornbread balls.

Derby’s duty ended when the surveying headquarters moved to San Francisco, where he compiled his maps and reports. For a decade after his 1861 death from a long illness, his “Fourth of July” satire was reprinted in California newspapers. However, in the Pacific Northwest, his roads, not his humor, made the most lasting impact.