James Van Der Beek is revealing the No. 1 thing his cancer journey has taught him thus far.
The 48-year-old “Dawson’s Creek” actor, who was diagnosed with colorectal cancer in 2024, took to Instagram on March 8 to celebrate another year around the sun.
“Today’s my birthday and it has been the hardest year of my life,” he says in the clip. “And I wanted to share something that I learned with y’all.”
Van Der Beek goes on to share that he used to define himself as an actor before realizing how unfulfilling that definition really was.
It wasn’t until he found love, in the form of his wife Kimberly, and started a family, welcoming six children into the world, that his definition started to change.
“I could define myself then as a loving, capable, strong [and] supportive husband, father, provider [and] steward of the land that we’re so lucky to live on,” he continued. “For a long time that felt like a really good definition of the question, ‘Who am I? What am I?’”
Van Der Beek and his wife wed in 2010 and have welcomed four daughters — Olivia, Annabel, Emilia and Gwendolyn — and two sons, Joshua and Jeremiah, since.
But then, in 2024, he was diagnosed with colorectal cancer — and that definition changed again.
“I had to look my own mortality in the eye. I had to come nose to nose with death,” Van Der Beek says. “And all of those definitions that I cared so deeply about were stripped from me.”
As a result of being away for treatment, Van Der Beek could no longer be the things he aspired to.
“I could no longer be a husband who was helpful to my wife,” he explained. “I could no longer be a father who could pick up his kids and put them to bed and be there for them.”
Without work, he couldn’t provide. And without strength, he couldn’t be a steward of his land. Instead, he was forced to ask himself, “What am I?”
His answer: “I am worthy of God’s love, simply because I exist. And if I’m worthy of God’s love, shouldn’t I also be worthy of my own?”
