PORTLAND — Scientists recently proved the existence of a parallel universe, in which all athletes are injected with action sports DNA.
A portal peering into this world reveals Kirk Gibson blasting his famed home run off Dennis Eckersley in the 1988 World Series, except here, Eckersley joins the Dodgers’ celebration at home plate.
It also shows Soviet players chanting “U-S-A” after the Miracle on Ice, John McEnroe signing a tennis ball for Jimmy Connors, and Muhammad Ali declaring “I am among the greatest! But Foreman and Frazier are really good, too!”
Make no mistake, sports such as skateboarding, BMX, or freestyle motocross are never going to be sponsored by Vacation Bible School. As skater David Gravette said from the Portland Invitational — a Dew Tour event that concludes Sunday at the Rose Garden — “skateboarders like to party … I’m always at the bar way too late.”
But action sports athletes do embrace one tradition shunned by virtually every other sport: Believe it or not, they actually root for their competition.
When freestyle motocross rider Travis Pastrana landed his double back flip to take first in “best trick” at the 2006 X Games, fellow riders mobbed him. When BMX rider Ryan Nyquist laid down a gold-medal run five years earlier, his peers greeted him with applause. And when skateboarder Tony Hawk won gold by landing the first ever 900 in 1999, he did so long after regulation time had expired. Didn’t matter to the other skaters, who not only agreed to let Hawk continue, but banged their boards against the halfpipe to rally him.
“If you’re in first place, and your friend knocks you out, you’re like legitimately stoked for your friend,” BMX rider Colton Satterfield said. “It’s not like other sports where the guy who gets beat is going to stomp a chair and not talk to his homey for a week.”
This isn’t an argument calling for all sports to become a giant tie-dye T-shirt with a peace sign on the front. The peaks and troughs of competition are generally what compel fans to watch the games in the first place. But isn’t it kind of nice to see an athletic arena where the primary goal is achievement, not annihilation?
Skateboarding legend Sandro Dias said his main objective in a contest is to land his intended tricks, not win. BMX rider T.J. Ellis said that if he completes the run he envisioned, he doesn’t care if he gets first or last. And street skater Alec Majerus said that being one-upped by an “opponent” leaves him motivated, not frustrated — as he thinks to himself, “I want to be able do that!”
Majerus, 16, made this comment while sitting next to his mother, Lisa, who was nodding in agreement. It can’t be easy, after all, parenting a child committed to an activity surrounded by paralysis and brain damage.
To paraphrase Jerry Seinfeld: There are some sports where the main objective is to not die.
But hey, maybe that’s better than playing a sport where the main objective is to kill.
“You never hear skaters talking smack to each other,” Lisa Majerus said. “I go to all the competitions with (Alec), and it’s really amazing to see the camaraderie.”
Look, the Michael Jordans, Kobe Bryants and Tiger Woodses of the world deserve every morsel of acclaim they have earned. That drive to not only defeat, but extinguish their peers is what vaulted them to super-human status and gripped international audiences.
And yet, despite their conquests, their scowl-to-smile ratio always seemed mystifyingly lopsided. The only way someone like Ray Lewis would fist-bump an opponent is if he were wearing brass knuckles.
But action sports athletes seem anomalously content. You know, like they would have no problem taking the guy who beat them out for a couple of beers.
