Be afraid. Why? Satan is just around the corner, and he wants your soul.
Be afraid. Why? The liberals are coming, and they want your freedom.
Be afraid. Why? Barack Obama is hovering over you, and he’ll take away your guns.
Be afraid. Why? Because there is a homosexual student sitting one row away from you in class, and he wants to make you gay.
Be afraid. Why? There is a germ with your name on it, and if you don’t hurry out and buy the latest medication hawked on television, it will infect your whole body.
Or we can stop being so afraid. Why? Because none of the above is true.