It seems the 4th of July has begun. It starts in June, folks. It started about 10 p.m., when residents in Hazel Dell began with their bombs. These are not mere firecrackers. These rattle our windows fully three-quarters of a mile away on Bernie Drive, across the greenway. This has gone on for almost the entire 20 years we have lived here. I have spoken to the police; I get excuses. I have gone over and looked for the miscreants myself. Not easy to find. But rest assured, sometime around 10 p.m. each night, another bomb will shake the windows and completely freak out my dogs.
I don't know who they are. Perhaps they have no calendar, so they just set off bombs from June through August. I am not exaggerating.
Just so they know, I hope the fleas from a thousand camels infest their armpits, they develop warts in interesting places, and I pray that any children they have are smarter and much more considerate than they are. Probably they can't read; obviously they're rude and ignorant of the laws of our country. Enjoy the Fourth. We across the bluff with animals won't.
Please, city of Vancouver, outlaw personal fireworks.