I write the best columns. Nobody writes better columns than I do. They’re huge; they’re beautiful; everybody loves my columns. Believe me.
Other columnists are weak and soft. Crooked Leonard Pitts, lyin’ George Will, little Dana Milbank, they’re a disaster, OK? But my columns are strong, OK? They are the greatest columns anybody has ever seen, right? I don’t know if that’s true, but other people are saying that. Lots of people; all kinds of people. A lot of people say my columns are the best ever. Thousands and thousands of people — like all those Muslims who were celebrating on 9/11 in New Jersey — say my columns are great. I’m just telling you what other people are saying. They know, they know that my columns are huge and beautiful.
The critics … the critics say my columns are weak and small, just like my hands. But they’re not the best people; they bring drugs and they’re rapists. Some of them, I’m sure, are good people, but they are part of a corrupt system.
Let’s face it, the system is rigged. You know that it’s rigged. And when I write a column that says it’s rigged they complain. This one woman, she complained once, but she is a dog and a loser; no better than a 7 at most. You wouldn’t believe her face, very, very unattractive, so she doesn’t know what she’s talking about.