Feeling tired of big government maintaining interstate highways and replacing crumbling bridges? Sick of Uncle Sam looking after wounded veterans and senior citizens? Anxious that Big Brother is coming to confiscate your weapons? Sounds like you need a dose of GOP to calm the nerves.
Be advised, this prescription has side effects which may include:
Short-sightedness; nostalgia for a time when women and minorities knew their place; suppression of votes, especially those of minorities in key counties; believing that immigrants will self-deport; ignoring science and female anatomy; denial of climate change and humans’ contribution; preferring God over any government; bashing gays; realizing that Tea Parties are for little girls with imaginary friends; belief in “legitimate” rape; stripping down and jumping into the Sea of Galilee; obstructionism and putting party over country; wrapping yourself in an American flag with an assault rifle in one hand and a Bible in the other; being pro-life, without exceptions, unless it involves unnecessary wars and capital punishment; unchaining corporations and dismantling unions that helped build our great country; thinking that trickle-down economics works despite its failure over the past 10 years; and robbing the poor to save the rich.
Where are the moderate Republicans when we need them most?
Rich Stever
Vancouver
