Unlucky 2013?
Some weekends, it seemed that way at the movies.
Big bad movies, cheap bad movies, ill-advisedly awful and ignominious efforts.
Johnny Depp outstayed his welcome, Adam Sandler sucker-punched his enabling fans one last time, Will Smith made a movie so bad people were attaching Scientology recruitment to his motives and Disney made a Pixar spinoff that was the worst thing ever to wear Mouse ears.
And because someday college kids will create drinking games to get them through “R.I.P.D.” with the once-and-always “dude,” Jeff Bridges, and there’s only enough space for two goshawful horror movies on any year’s list, let’s remember the unmemorable — the very worst in movies, 2013.
• “The Lone Ranger”: Twice, big money has been thrown at this “masked man” Western on the big screen, and both films were disasters for the ages. A few clever bits — the Ranger galloping through a moving train, Tonto and the Ranger buried in sand and slinging insults — lift your hopes. The rest? Shockingly violent, shockingly stupid. Everybody involved should have seen this coming.
• “Creature”: Show this one to your kid, the one whining about becoming an actress. “Someday, honey, you could end up stripping for a no-talent hack who has a villain named ‘Lockjaw’ butcher your character and your career.”
