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‘Trainwreck’ makes James a comedian, Hader a leading man

The Columbian
Published: July 25, 2015, 5:00pm

The casting for “Trainwreck” is both bizarre and brilliant. LeBron James in a comedic role? Bill Hader as the romantic lead? Somehow it all works so well that the movie transforms the way we look at certain actors and athletes. Here’s a look at who benefitted from the “Trainwreck” effect. (A few spoilers follow.)

Amy Schumer

Before “Trainwreck”: She was the funny, crude woman whose viral clips kept popping up in your Facebook feed.

After: A leading lady who owns the big screen with total confidence. She can do the morning-after gag, suffering through a walk of shame in a gold miniskirt and sky-high heels, and she can do the cutesy romantic stuff. Most surprisingly though, she can do heartfelt. At one point, Schumer has to look utterly bereft while delivering a eulogy, which she does — complete with believable tears.

Bill Hader

Before: That guy who played Stefon.

After: The romantic lead. The “Saturday Night Live” alum has been inching his way into the movie world with serious roles in independent movies, such as “The Skeleton Twins” and “The Disappearance of Eleanor Rigby.” “Trainwreck” is his first big part in a blockbuster, and he managed to snag the role of the main love interest. At first the choice seems odd. Like Schumer, he looks like a normal human rather than a flawless A-lister, plus his voice can really pierce an eardrum. But he owns the part of Amy’s (Schumer) perfect foil, a good-guy strait-laced doctor.

John Cena

Before: A less green Incredible Hulk come to life.

After: An actor willing to do anything in the name of comedy. The WWE wrestler has to suffer indignity after indignity during “Trainwreck.” He plays Amy’s boyfriend-ish companion, who loves artsy movies and freezes when Amy asks him to talk dirty to her in the bedroom. (“There’s no I in team.” “I’m going to fill you full of protein.”) He also has an extremely memorable and, er, climactic scene that culminates in him standing around wearing nothing but a hand towel hanging strategically from his nether region. So now we know that Cena can do comedy — and that he’s curiously hairless.

LeBron James

Before: The face of the NBA.

After: A comedic actor. James attests that he isn’t that good in “Trainwreck,” but don’t believe him. This isn’t a cameo role; he plays the stereotypical best buddy and a sounding board for Hader’s Aaron. But he’s also a well-drawn character in his own right. Even though he plays himself, he’s extremely frugal, getting exact when it comes to splitting a lunch bill, and refusing to pay more than $30 for a pair of sunglasses. He’s also hilariously overprotective of Aaron, warning Amy not to break his buddy’s heart. And somehow he does it all without sounding distractingly stilted.

Ezra Miller

Before: The outsider kid from so many indies.

After: A big-league actor. Miller is set to be the next Flash, but “Trainwreck” is his first major movie. His most memorable roles to date have him as a kind of quick-witted loner, but in “Trainwreck” he’s something completely different — an Eddie Haskell type who’s hiding some fringy sexual peccadillos. Good luck ever forgetting the image of him licking Schumer’s face, then snorting coke off her forehead.

Tilda Swinton

Before: A stunning alien life form who came to earth to play offbeat characters in art house movies.

After: A basic-looking broad comedian. The first thing you’ll notice about Swinton (if you recognize her at all) is that she has visible eyebrows. The usually makeup-free actress has piled on the foundation, mascara, eye shadow, you name it, for her role as the editor-in-chief of an aggressively lowbrow men’s magazine called S’Nuff. In an interview, Swinton said the look she was going for was “Tandoori tan,” and she said her inspiration was former Vogue Paris editor Carine Roitfeld. Basically she looks like the kind of person Katie Price would emulate. Meanwhile, her character is crass, mean and as bad-tempered as a toddler.

Method Man

Before: A rapper who occasionally plays thugs in movies and on television.

After: Method Man can do accents! Who knew? In “Trainwreck” he plays a sweet orderly who works in a nursing home and takes care of Amy’s father. He’s from Africa and complains to Amy that in his native country, he was a doctor.

“No one complained, so at the end of the day, I think I did pretty good,” he said of the accent. And he’s right. Not bad at all.

Amar’e Stoudemire

Before: A Miami Heat power forward.

After: A pratfall guy. Stoudemire, like James, plays himself in “Trainwreck” and gets a couple of extensive scenes, including one important moment where Aaron shows up to do surgery on the player’s knee but is too tired to concentrate. Stoudemire has a smaller role than James, but he might be the better actor. He and Hader have a nice, natural rapport. And one of Stoudemire’s scenes ends with him ripping an IV out of his arm and running away from Aaron only to slip and fall — all 6 feet 10 inches of him.

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