Mary Blanchette remembers when being openly gay was risky. Her children were bullied at school. Someone painted explicit graffiti on their house.
“A lot of older women who have lived in this community their whole lives have a lot of fear,” said Blanchette, 60, executive director of the Children’s Justice Center. “There’s a lot of prejudice.”
Blanchette was among about 40 women gathered underneath the clock tower at Esther Short Park on Saturday to march in Vancouver’s first Dyke March. It was part of the 23rd annual Saturday in the Park gay pride event. As the women circled the park, their group swelled to about 100.
The family-friendly event also included speeches by politicians, musical performances, children’s face painting and booths by churches and other organizations that support LGBTQ rights.
Simona Matteucci, 77, who organized the march, participated in San Francisco’s first Dyke March, which started with 17 participants in 1993 but now has 50,000.
“This is our first march, but it’s not going to be our last,” Matteucci told the crowd. “We want visibility in the community. We are your neighbors. We are your teachers, your garbage collectors. We are married and have children. We’re as boring as anyone else.”
Many of the marchers had graying hair. They waved signs that read: “Love not hate” and “Proud to be who I am” and “The only choice I made was to be myself.”
Living in fear
Blanchette and her wife, Deanna Ziemer, were married last month. Previously, Blanchette was in another long-term relationship that raised children and ran into prejudice.
“We thought we might lose our children,” she said. “You could lose your job. We always knew (coming out) was a dangerous thing. But now we have a new fight. People think it’s OK to annihilate 50 of us at a time. We’re living in a time when we have to still fight.”
Blanchette referred to the June 12 incident when a gunman killed 49 and injured 53 inside a gay nightclub in Orlando, Fla. President Obama called the shooting massacre “an act of terror and an act of hate.”
Police appreciation
Partly in response to Orlando, Vancouver police had a booth at the gay pride event for public safety — and to recruit new officers.
“We’re here for public safety,” said Lt. Scott Creager. “Everybody should be able to have a community event.”
The gay pride event ended a week of violence and unrest nationwide. Alton Sterling, a black man, was fatally shot by police officers in Baton Rouge, La., on Tuesday. Philando Castile was fatally shot by a police officer in Falcon Heights, Minn., on Wednesday. During a peaceful protest of those killings Thursday night in Dallas, a gunman fatally shot five police officers and wounded seven others.
Lt. Creager said people were appreciative of the police presence in the park Saturday.
“Many people have stopped by to thank us,” Lt. Creager said. “I’ve had a lot of hugs today. And even a bouquet of flowers. This is how we do it right.”
A contingent of liberal churches had booths in the park. Chris Hammett from the Vancouver Heights United Methodist Church was handing out “love conquers all” posters.
“We’re here to give a presence, especially today to gay youth,” Hammett said. “There is a safe place to go. Not all Christians are hateful. We publicly affirm that all are welcome.”
Hammett and his partner were married by a United Methodist minister who could be stripped of her credentials for doing so. He said his church still does not ordain gay or lesbian ministers. He recently spoke at his denomination’s regional conference to encourage the church to reconsider its position, he said.
Next door at the booth for St. Anne’s and St. Luke’s Episcopal churches, Melanie Kenoyer said the Episcopalian church ordains gay and lesbian priests and has performed same-sex marriages for a few years. “People are encouraged to be who they are,” Kenoyer said.
After three daughters and 13 years, march organizer Matteucci left her heterosexual marriage “because I couldn’t live the lie anymore,” she said. She adopted her lesbian partner’s daughter in 1988. It was among the nation’s earliest same-sex adoptions. She was the second gay teacher in the San Francisco Unified School district, she said.
On Saturday, her daughter Debra Schneider, a teacher at Mountain View High School, marched alongside her in the parade. Schneider, who is straight, is the adviser for the school’s Gender & Sexuality Alliance club. She displays a photo of her mom on her desk at school, she said, and has noticed a big change in public attitudes lately.
“People don’t ask me anymore: ‘What is it like to have a mom who’s gay?’ ”
Marching for mom
Greg Odell, 47, was one of the few men marching Saturday. Beating a drum, he wore a T-shirt emblazoned with a photo of his mother, Eugene Rose Odell, who died last month at age 71.
When he was a preteen, his mom came out and left her family. At first, he couldn’t accept his mother as a lesbian.
“It felt like she was abandoning her family,” he said. “I didn’t like lesbians at all. When you’re younger, you don’t see the big picture.”
As an adult, Odell moved to Portland and started a drumming group, The Last Regiment of Syncopated Drummers.
“It attracted the lesbian contingent,” he smiled. “It was good for me.”
Eventually, he reconciled with his mom, who was in a 25-year lesbian relationship.
“I do miss my mom,” Odell said. “She would like that I’m doing this. I know she would appreciate this march.”
