Retreat to monasteries for restful stay

The word retreat never seemed to fit into my life. As someone who isn’t religious, doesn’t do yoga and struggles to disconnect and slow down, the concept of just being somewhere solo never really crossed my mind. It took spending a night at Holy Wisdom Monastery, a Benedictine monastery outside of Madison, Wis. to realize I’d been missing out.

On a Friday in April, I check in to my hermitage — a small, modestly furnished cabin in the woods with a bedroom, living room, bathroom, kitchen and deck — and immediately put on my running shoes. Unfazed by the gloomy drizzle, I wander the nature trails just outside my door, gazing at placid Lake Mendota in the distance. Once this was farmland, but the monastery, which is home to the Benedictine Sisters of Madison, helped coordinate efforts to restore the wild prairie and oak forests that now encircle the 130-plus acre property. As a Benedictine monastery, caring for the earth is part of the mission. That commitment shines through in the structure of the monastery, itself, a tawny brick building that is certified LEED platinum, and generates much of its own power through solar panels.

At 5:15 p.m., I join three of the monastery’s four nuns and two “novices” (women in a year-long program studying and living at the monastery) for a dinner prepared by the staff chef. In a dining room filled with about 40 exuberant men and women who are there for a weekend retreat (and a nature walk and bonfire later that night), we talk about hospitality, something Benedictines — a Christian monastic tradition — have been known for throughout history.

“Monasteries were like the first hotel,” says Sister Mary David Walgenbach, between bites of haddock and butternut squash, which was grown in a garden a few hundred feet away. “At Benedictine monasteries, part of the ministry is welcoming guests in,” adds Sister Joanne Kollasch. “They can come there if they’re looking for a spiritual place or a place to be at home with themselves.”

Benedictines are guided by the rule of St. Benedict, which says: “Let all guests who arrive be received like Christ.” In other words, everyone is welcome. The sisters tell me they’ve hosted artists, writers, people of all faiths (it’s an ecumenical monastery and even the sisters are of varying Christian denominations), refugees, nature lovers. The Dalai Lama has even spent time here. Guests ar invited to attend daily services, but are under no obligation.

Kollasch points out that those who wish to stay in a monastery should understand and respect the culture. “It’s not a cheap place where (you) can go and hole up. That’s not the point. The point is to go to a place that supports your own interior growth. Or your own growth as a whole person,” says Kollasch. “It doesn’t have to be overtly religious or doctrinal. But you wouldn’t want people coming here (thinking) I can do as I please and disregard the whole point of it being a place that’s dedicated to this interior life.”

Journey of discovery

In a world where hotel brands are tripping over themselves to become more “authentic” and offer meaningful experiences to travelers, these religious institutions deliver the real deal. Scores of monasteries, abbeys and retreat centers of all faiths in the U.S. open their doors to people seeking quiet contemplation and personal retreats.

Husband-and-wife team Jack and Marcia Kelly have visited nearly 300 monasteries of all spiritual paths in the United States, sharing travel information in their book, “Sanctuaries: A Guide to Lodgings in Monasteries, Abbeys, and Retreats of the United States.” Their interest was piqued on a road trip in the early ’90s, when they stopped overnight at The Abbey of Our Lady of Gethsemani near Bardstown, Ky., to visit a monk who was a family friend.

“We were welcomed with open arms, had a lovely quiet place to stay, were invited to come to the services, with that glorious singing and had, probably for the first times in our lives, a completely peaceful and tranquil time,” says Marcia. Neither she nor Jack are religious — Marcia is Jewish and her husband is, in his words, a “retired” Catholic — and so the experience was especially eye opening. They continued their cross-country journey and stayed at another monastery, New Camaldoli Hermitage, in Big Sur, Calif. From their peaceful roost overlooking the Pacific, they knew they were onto something. “When we discovered these places, we realized that nobody else knew about them,” says Marcia. “That all over the country were these gorgeous places that people should know about.”

They set out to visit as many as they could, writing a total of six books. Every place they visited had its own distinct character — some had chanting, others were silent; some had yoga, others had tennis; some were in cities, others were high in the mountains.

In Oregon’s Willamette Valley, the monks at Our Lady of Guadalupe Trappist Abbey bake fruitcakes, operate a book bindery and run a warehouse that stores and labels wine for area vineyards. They also welcome guests of all faiths to immerse themselves in the quiet of more than 1,000 acres of lush forest, rolling hills and fertile farmland dotted with hazelnut trees and surrounded by Oregon’s wine country.

Regardless of the differences, the men and women who work and pray there all had something in common, says Marcia. “Every place is filled with human beings trying to be their very best selves, and radiating that kindness and compassion and hospitality toward their guests consistently,” she says. “And so they glow.”