Someone you just met starts crying in a public space. What should you do?
Smile and show warmth. Say something like, “I’m so sorry you’re in pain. I hope the issue resolves quickly.”
This kind of empathy can mean a lot.
What you don’t need to do – unless you’re really drawn to do it – is sit down with this person and hear the details of his entire story. As a psychiatrist, I tell my patients that it is not their jobs to “fix” other people or to sacrifice energy when you only have so much to go around. Nor do you want to support the antics of a “drama queen” who might create these incidents simply to get attention.
I’m suggesting a kind of practical empathy that shows someone that you care but doesn’t sap your energy when you need it for your own life and loved ones. For someone who is suffering, a smile or a pat on the back shows that you care. That will touch the person’s heart and give him more strength to deal with his issues.
— Dr. Judith Orloff, author of “The Empath’s Survival Guide: Life Strategies for Sensitive People”