Singletary: Having will ensures your wishes are fulfilled

“Perhaps she felt she had done and given everything to her four sons in life until adulthood,” one reader wrote. “Leaving a will is a personal choice.”

But it’s a bad personal decision not to prepare all the documents that can help in a smooth administration of your estate.

Estate planners and advisers say that when it comes to estate planning, they can sometimes take on the role of family therapist. Forty-four percent of estate-planning professionals said family conflict outdoes other issues impacting people’s estates — ahead of taxes and market volatility, according to a survey by TD Bank.

You can’t plan away all conflict, but you can reduce the likelihood of complete disorder. Here are the documents you should have to help carry out your final requests, according to Colleen Carcone, an attorney and director of wealth-planning strategies at TIAA.

• Letter of instruction. Since the will may not be read right away, you’ll need to leave instructions about your funeral and burial.

Consider a letter of instruction as a crib note of the location of your financial assets. Include information about any insurance policies or military service. Use the letter to pass along passwords to your computer and smartphone.

• A will or trust. “It’s imperative that you have a will, but there’s also a number of documents that you must have to provide for your lifetime should things go awry,” Carcone said.

One such document is a durable power of attorney, which enables someone to manage your finances, such as paying your bills, if you are unable to do so yourself. But be careful whom you trust with your power of attorney. This is a powerful document.

Some folks may need a trust. For instance, if you have a child who is disabled and will continue to require care into adulthood, you should establish a supplemental or special-needs trust.

A trust also will bypass probate and keep your estate affairs private, Carcone said.

• Personal property memorandum. One of the top reasons why people put off creating a will is that they can’t decide who’s going to get certain property, such as a painting or jewelry, Carcone said.

So, complete your will, and then use the memorandum to take your time in dividing up keepsakes, she said. Be sure to refer to the memo in your will.

• Advanced health care directives. In addition to the living will, you should have a “health care proxy,” which names somebody to make medical decisions on your behalf. The health care proxy gives your doctors permission to speak to your designated agent about your condition.

Where there’s a will or trust — and all the documents that go with it — there’s a way to carry out your wishes.