If Chicken Little and Cassandra had a baby, they’d name him Jeffrey Toobin.
Anyone watching CNN lately has probably heard Toobin’s prediction that if a conservative fills the Supreme Court seat left vacant by the departing Justice Anthony Kennedy, abortion is dead.
No more reproductive choice; no more equal protection for the LGBTQ community; no more fun for anybody, except Jesus and his acolytes. The effect has been an unloosing of hysteria upon the land. Democrats began tearing their garments and gnashing their teeth as they foresaw 24/7 Christian broadcasting and Charlton Heston reruns. Republicans, always sore winners, fired their guns in the air, swatted Hillary Clinton pinatas and — I’m not sure this part is true — square-danced ’til way past dark.
OK, so I may have exaggerated, but not that much. There have been days lately when it seemed that the Canada geese had misread their calendars. Toobin, a legal analyst and author, was Solon-like compared with the wild-eyed, jack-assery elsewhere.
Whatever the outcome of President Trump’s nominee, slated to be announced Monday, we can expect a battle royale as special-interest groups, presidential wannabes and midterm candidates rev their fundraising engines. There won’t be breathing room in the Senate confirmation chamber during confirmation hearings. Nor will envy of the nominee — my money’s on federal appeals court Judge Brett Kavanaugh — linger long in the hearing room. What sane mortal would wish upon him- or herself such scrutiny, marooned alone on the block to be picked at by scoundrels, fools and pontificating provocateurs.