SEATTLE — It was a lot worse than I thought.
A food writer’s pantry ought to be an orderly place, neat and tidy and carefully “curated.” Watching Marie Kondo’s hit Netflix series “Tidying Up,” I realized this just might be a bit of a problem for me. But the show felt more fascinating (other people have mountains of stuff!) and soothing (Kondo’s endlessly calm, utterly joyful manner in the face of other people’s mountains of stuff!) than inspiring.
Until the last episode, that is, when Kondo declared in the course of a kitchen purging that anything past the expiration date should be thrown out. I could pretty much hear Seattle food-waste expert Jill Lightner’s head exploding. What if we Kondo’d my kitchen together, also deploying Lightner’s encyclopedic knowledge of what’s really still all right to eat — or donate to a food bank? (And what about composting?!)
My two cupboards — big and deep ones, pretty much unculled for, oh, 10 years — turned out to be a clown car of neglected canned goods, the world’s largest private collection of balsamic vinegar and a lot of pasta. So. Much. Pasta.
So, on a recent afternoon, in accordance with Kondo’s organizational method, Lightner and I disgorged the contents of the larder onto the kitchen counter for sorting. Kondo would’ve been clapping her hands with glee (“I love mess!”). The cupboards had been cluttered, sure, but functional — everything had its place, which Lightner forgivingly termed “like a personalized Dewey Decimal System.” But, then, this can of corn: How did it even get here? Nothing against canned corn, but it’s not something we use. It definitely did not “spark joy,” per Kondo’s keep-it-or-toss-it litmus test.