Last year might go down in history as the year that a Washington governor ran for president for a while before giving up, the year the Legislature finished its budget on time or the year a political novice beat a city council veteran for the job of Spokane mayor.
Then again, it might be completely forgotten as 2020 starts, thanks to the presidential race. So before that happens, Spin Control wants to mark the highlights and lowlifes of 2019, with mentions both honorable and dishonorable.
The Don Quixote Award to Jay Inslee, who tried to run for president by tying everything to climate change. He jumped into the race in March and got good reviews in the national political press but barely registered on the public opinion polls and was out in August. Award comes with a windmill to tilt at while he runs for his second choice: a third term as governor.
The Bernie Madoff Medal for bad investment strategy is hard to assign to any single entity. But one of the worst returns on investment in a political campaign was by the Washington Realtors Association PAC with its independent spending of $252,638 in the Cindy Wendle council president race, or $7.73 per vote. Yes, it was close, but close counts in H bombs and hand grenades, not elections. Comes with a deed to oceanfront property in Nebraska.
A Gold Star for the best decision of 2019 goes to the Washington Supreme Court justices who gave the public an early Christmas present with their Dec. 20 ruling that legislators are subject to the state’s Public Records Act, just like other elected officials in cities and counties across Washington. Legislators are early favorites for a Madoff Medal in 2020 if the trial court levies high costs and fees for not following the law. Those would go on top of the $350,000 of taxpayers’ money they spent for private lawyers in their attempt to play defense.
The Mr. Yuck Award, for the legislative action most likely to make you queasy, goes to the new law against eyeball tattoos, which the Legislature banned. The practice is unhealthy and dangerous as well as just plain icky, but even supporters couldn’t produce an instance of it ever happening in the state. Comes with a coupon for a free lunch, in case thinking about poking and dyeing your eye makes you lose the lunch you just had.
A Red Badge of Courage to legislators who agreed to end the personal exemption parents could claim to keep their children from being vaccinated for measles, mumps and rubella. Yes it is a half-measure, because personal exemptions still exist for some other vaccinations. But lawmakers who voted “yes” still had to buck pressure from vocal constituents, including one person who drove around the Capitol Campus for hours at a time, blaring loud music through speakers to attract attention to anti-vax signs and other screeds that popped up through the sunroof.
The Super Chicken Citation, named for the person who most personifies the “He’s everywhere! He’s everywhere!” tagline from the cartoon character, to initiative hawker turned gubernatorial candidate Tim Eyman. In the closing weeks of the year, he seemed to have a made-for-media event about every other day about Initiative 976, which allowed him to mention his 2020 campaign. Because Eyman shows a fondness for T-shirts with slogans, the back of this citation will feature a warning to pin on his shirts that reads, “Danger: Don’t get between me and a television camera.”
The Jubilation T Cornpone Award, named for the character in Li’l Abner cartoons famous for strategies that snatch defeat from the jaws of victory, to the supporters of affirmative action. They managed to push it through the Legislature in the 11th hour. But opponents quickly gathered enough signatures to put it before voters, who rejected affirmative action by a margin of 21,557 votes.
Cornpone Award Honorable Mention goes to the Keep Washington Rolling campaign, which spent $5 million and had endorsements from business, labor, local government officials, state leaders — and still managed to fail in their effort to beat Initiative 976.
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