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Thursday, February 22, 2024
Feb. 22, 2024

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Gwyneth Paltrow’s ski lawsuit soon to be musical of the season


Want to watch Gwyneth Paltrow be found Gwynecent again?

Paltrow’s legal battle with the skiing optometrist had it all: chic court attire worn by an Oscar winner (many pieces could be found via Goop online), teary testimony filled with angst and heartbreak, an oddball attorney, a “symbolic” $1 in damages and a grueling cross-examination regarding Taylor Swift.

The only things the trial lacked were show tunes and a glowing marquee, and Awkward Productions is fixing that.

“Gwyneth Goes Skiing “ will make its West End debut in London in December. “She’s the Goop-founding, Door-Sliding, Shakespeare-In-Loving, consciously-uncoupling Hollywood superstar. He’s a retired Optometrist from Utah. In 2016, they went skiing,” the show description reads. “On the slopes of Deer Valley, their worlds collided, and so did they — literally. … This is their story. Kind of. Not really. But also, it’s at Christmas.”

Linus Karp will star as defendant Paltrow, while plaintiff Terry Sanderson will be portrayed by Joseph Martin. The production also features original musical by singer-songwriter Leland (“RuPaul’s Drag Race,” “Love, Victor”).

“Gwyneth Goes Skiing” is based on the court trial between Paltrow and Sanderson that dominated headlines earlier this year. It may have been spring 2023’s most meme-able event.

Sanderson, who sued Paltrow, accused the Goop founder of negligence, alleging she slammed into his back on the slopes of Utah’s Deer Valley Resort, leaving him with broken ribs and brain injuries. His attorneys called on medical experts, relatives and friends, all of whom painted a picture of a man whose health and quality of life had deteriorated since the crash.

Paltrow’s attorneys countered by saying Sanderson struck the Oscar-winning actor. Paltrow testified, “Mr. Sanderson categorically hit me on that ski slope.” The defense also presented medical evidence in asserting that the 76-year-old man was simply succumbing to natural aging and health conditions that existed before the crash.

Jurors were left to decide which story to believe and to determine whether Paltrow acted negligently during the collision. The lawsuit, filed in 2019, originally asked for a $3 million payout but ultimately sought around $300,000 in damages. Paltrow countersued for $1 and attorneys’ fees.

The brief deliberation lasted about two-and-a-half hours, and the verdict: Gwynecent.

According to Awkward Productions — the self-described “harbingers of queer chaos” — the audience will be the jury for this unlikely Christmas production. London’s Pleasance Theatre will transform into the Deer Valley ski resort for a 10-day run Dec. 13.