Printz: What Does Santa Claus Drive? We take a few guesses.

Have you ever wondered what Santa Claus drives, apart from his sleigh?

Let’s face it, his sleigh is a company vehicle, one that’s a bit more difficult to control than a Porsche Carrera 911. You try parallel parking a sleigh with eight reindeer without any computerized driving assistance. I wish you luck.

Besides, he needs more than merely a sleigh.

Santa Claus oversees a large-scale distribution business in the North Pole, a privately-held company that sources inventory all year long, attends to client needs, and fulfills orders in a single evening. And you thought Amazon Prime was impressive?

Still, what exactly does this adored, well-positioned, global gift boss drive? Other than his sleigh, no one knows. But we’re willing to make some conjectures.

Ineos Grenadier: Santa’s age dictates comfort as well as capability given his base of operations in the North Pole. He requires a lot of functionality and the capacity to travel anywhere, at any time, in any weather, no matter what the road surface. This the Ineos Grenadier does better than just about any other vehicle. Engineered and built with the intention of lasting 30 years, not 10, it’s a true body-on-frame SUV, not some cul-de-sac aspirant. It boasts a ladder chassis, recirculating ball steering, solid front and rear axles, three locking differentials and a two-speed transfer case that the driver engages, not a microchip. Its fashion is function, with a 35.5-degree approach angle, 36.1-degree departure angle and 10.4 inches of ground clearance.

BMW’s turbocharged inline 3.0-liter six-cylinder inline gas engine powers the Grenadier through an eight-speed ZF gearbox. It’s rated at 282 horsepower and 332 pound-feet of torque and uses a Tremac transfer case, Eaton differential lockers and Brembo brakes. All-wheel drive is standard. At the North Pole, having a car this capable is reassuring, especially when the weather is miserable and Rudolph is playing reindeer games.

Ford F-150 PowerBoost Hybrid: Cleaning up after eight reindeer that eat a lot of reindeer chow is quite the task. A truck, particularly the Ford F-150 Hybrid, is the ideal arctic automotive servant. Its twin-turbocharged, intercooled 3.5-liter overhead-cam V-6 engine is connected to an electric motor that produces 430 horsepower and 570 pound-feet of torque while returning an EPA-rated 24 mpg. It can pull a trailer weighing 12,700 pounds, which is sufficient to carry all eight reindeer and their food.

And with 7.2 kilowatts of electricity, the onboard generator can power essential equipment where no outlets are available. That’s enough to power welders, sanders, air compressors, reciprocating saws, or a blender, microwave game console or a television. And check out the cab; this rig makes for the perfect mobile office. There’s a 400-watt outlet for powering office gear, a center armrest that transforms into a flat work surface, with a storage bin that accommodates hanging file folders. And the front seats fold flat to create a bed that’s perfect for a quick power nap.

Kia Carnival: Even Santa needs a minivan to haul around his squadron of elves. And the Kia Carnival proves to be the perfect fit. This is one cavernous Carnival, with 168 cubic feet of passenger space and as much as 145 cubic feet of cargo space. Conveniently, the second-row seats slide back and forth, and are removable, while the third-row seats fold into the floor. That may not sound unusual, but the fact that the seats are very comfortable regardless of which row you’re in is astounding. Built-in Wi-Fi, Android Auto, Apple CarPlay and wireless charging are all here, and there are up to nine USB ports and two 110-volt outlets. There’s even an in-cabin intercom.

The Carnival’s smooth, refined 3.5-liter V-6 provides 290 horsepower through an 8-speed automatic transmission to the front wheels. All-wheel-drive is not offered. But it can tow a reasonable 3,500 pounds, just in case there’s not enough space, which seems strangely improbable. And it’s wrapped in a design that makes you forget that you’re driving a minivan.

BMW 760i xDrive: A night on the town calls for a respectable ride, one that’s fitting of Santa’s position. This slab of Bavarian luxury wears its imposing grandeur well at more than 212 inches long and 76 inches wide. Inside, Mr and Mrs Claus face BMW’s massive Curved Display that combines a 12.3-inch instrument cluster and a 14.9-inch iDrive multimedia touchscreen behind a single sheet of glass. But the cabin is far from stark, as BMW designers have employed a number of textures and finishes to a variety of surfaces throughout the cabin. And they can keep the grandkids entertained with BMW’s enormous 31.3-inch rear-seat screen that streams Netflix, Hulu, or other content through the vehicle’s 5G cellular connection. It pairs perfectly with the Executive Lounge Package, which moves the front seat forward while a little footrest pops out of the seatback to allow the rear passenger seat to recline.

Its 536-horsepower twin-turbocharged 4.4-liter V-8 pairs to a mild hybrid system and all-wheel drive that reaches 60 mph in 4.2 seconds. There’s a seamlessness to the driveline that’s impressive, quiet and relaxing. Yet it proves impressively agile, thanks to rear-wheel steering and impressive tuning. The 7 Series is a sublime driving experience, a first-rate executive shuttle that’s all about cruising, not schlepping stuff.

Chevrolet Corvette Z06: It’s time for ol’ Sant Nick to let his hair down with the missus now that the stockings are full and the gifts are under the tree. Time to head for warmer climes and have a few ho-ho-hos. The Chevrolet Corvette Z06’s fierce flat-plane V-8 unleashes 670 horsepower with a howling exhaust note while offering a comfy cabin, outstanding handling all at relatively reasonable price.

It’s truly a contemporary classic supercar.

Larry Printz is an automotive journalist based in South Florida. Readers may send him email at TheDrivingPrintz@gmail.com.