I was grateful to read that congressional candidate Joe Kent opposes plans to replace the aging, rickety, inadequate Interstate 5 Bridge because a new bridge would be an “antifa superhighway.” Congresswoman Marie Gluesenkamp Perez boasts of securing a half-billion dollars to help pay for a new bridge that would alleviate traffic jams and withstand an earthquake. Joe rides to the rescue, pointing out the inevitable disaster that would ensue if we had a nice, new bridge.
As someone who lives in Portland but drives the I-5 Bridge to Vancouver for my job, I can tell you I’ve seen it with my own eyes. Throngs of ghostly antifa, prowling the shores of Hayden Island, unwilling to take their chances on the current bridge, looking for a safe way over. They’re joined by large numbers of the walking dead, keen on invading Clark County, but (little known fact) the walking dead are unable to cross 100-year-old bridges! Bigfoot and D.B. Cooper, too, wander the Oregon side, longing to visit The Couve, but too timid to take their chances on our precarious bridges.
If Joe has his way, the Vancouver side will remain free of those horrors.
