Let’s make a deal. American parents stop harassing schools over library books that deal sympathetically with differences in sexual preference. And America’s schools stop withholding information about a student’s said preference from the parents.
First, the ugly clashes over offerings at school libraries. Parents should understand that reading a wide range of viewpoints improves critical thinking. A book about a child whose parents are both female doesn’t turn the reader gay. Ask a child psychologist about that.
The sons and daughters of lesbian parents I’ve known all turned out heterosexual. Not a scientific sampling, I know, but if the school library contains a book that makes the offspring of gay parents feel OK about their home life — and helps other kids respect them — where’s the harm?
Those who fear their children might be exposed to damaging influences would best take their mobile phones away. Go after TikTok and leave school librarians alone.
Now the second part of the deal. Schools should drop the idea that if students declare a sexual identity different from the one they were born with, they should not tell the parents.
This reflects the current obsession with LGBTQ issues. The initials stand for lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and queer (or questioning).
It is withholding information about the last category, children who identify with a gender other than the one they were born with, that has a lot of parents up in arms. And they’re not all the expected groups — social conservatives and evangelicals.
I asked a father who is quite liberal how he feels about schools hiding the declared gender identity from parents.
“They have every obligation to tell me,” he said, anger in his voice. “They’ll tell me if he’s picking his nose in the class. He’s a minor, and that’s a major event.” This is information that helps a parent be a parent.
Sonja Shaw, head of a school board in Chino Valley, Calif., complained to The Economist that boys who identified as girls were allowed in her daughters’ locker room. Hers became the first school district in California to require that schools not keep a child’s gender identity secret from their parents. Hundreds of school districts do.
The thinking is that parents might beat up on kids who veer from their presumed gender. Or that such information could be used as ammunition in custody cases. That could happen, but abuse of children or holding up gender identity as evidence of bad parenting is a matter for law enforcement and the courts.
The broad coalition objecting to these policies suggests the sense that time spent on LGBTQ concerns is taking time away from such essential subjects as math, reading and history. Rather than simply treating these issues with delicacy, many schools seem to be obsessing on them. These parents have a point.
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